This Is How I Overcame My Social Anxiety (Animated Story)
This Is How I Overcame My Social Anxiety (Animated Story)
In this video, I’m going to share with you exactly how I overcame my social anxiety, and I’m gonna do it by sharing with you a personal story. About four years ago, I was the guy who was incredibly awkward around girls. I remember I would always see these guys who seemed to be so naturally good with girls, and I really didn’t understand what they were doing that was so different from what I was doing. I didn’t know what to say, how to say it, I didn’t understand how to flirt, or even what flirting was. Whenever I saw a girl that I liked, I had this confused feeling right in my stomach where I just didn’t know what to do. About halfway through university, I started to watch people like Elliott Hulse, and I also started to read some self help books. And doing this exposed me to some very interesting ideas.
Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.
The most interesting idea that I was exposed to was a very simple one, and it was you have the power to change things in your life. So I sat down at my desk, and I said out loud I am not happy with my dating life. And then right after that, I said out loud, but I can change this if I want to, and I recommend you do the same thing. Also around this time, pranks were very popular, and I would see these rs go up and approach girls during the day, and they would say all these crazy things, and no matter what they said, it always seemed like they were able to attract the girl.
So after I watched about 10 or 20 of these videos, I decided in that moment that I wanted to learn how to be that confident. So at this time, there was no way I was gonna be able to approach a beautiful girl during the day. I had to start off with something much, much, much smaller. So instead, was I would go out on the street, and I simply would ask people hey, what time is it? And they would reply it’s 10 a. m., and I would say thank you. And believe it or not, at first this was a little bit difficult for me, which is honestly kind of depressing to admit, but it’s the truth. And I did this until I became 100% comfortable doing it. And then after that, I would ask them how’s your day going? And then I would make more and more small talk. I kept pushing myself outside of the comfort zone.
So for a couple months, I kept pushing myself more and more. And then I woke up one day, and I decided that this was the day when I was going to approach a girl, and I was gonna say to her hey, I thought you were attractive, and I just wanted to say hi, just like those rs. So I left my apartment, and I told myself I was not allowed back into my apartment until I had approached someone. I left my apartment, and I started to walk around on the street.
And whenever I would see an attractive girl, I would make up some stupid excuse about how I could not approach her. I would say stuff like she looks like she’s in a hurry, she looks mean, she looks like she has a boyfriend even though that makes absolutely no sense, she looks like she’s about to get a phone call, literally any excuse that I could think of, I would tell myself, and then I would just wouldn’t do it. So five hours later, I am still wandering around the city, but I had made the commitment to myself that I could not return to my apartment until I did this. I needed to honor this commitment, because I understood that these types of commitments are what make you succeed. I’m walking along the sidewalk watching the sun go down.
I see this brunette girl walking ahead of me, and for whatever reason in that moment, I told myself it’s either now or never. You can either live your life like a wimp or go up and face your fears head on. So I run up to her, and I tap her on the shoulder, and then when she turned around, I realized that I had just approached one of the most beautiful girls that I had seen all day. The first five minutes of the conversation were a bit awkward, but I pushed through it, and very quickly we both became very comfortable with one another, and we even talked for about 20 minutes. I got her number, we hugged goodbye, and then I could finally return to my apartment.
And when I returned to my apartment, I had such a tremendous feeling of accomplishment, because just months ago the thought of approaching a girl during the day gave me so much anxiety to the point where I could physically feel knots in my stomach when I really imagined going up and approaching a girl during the day. What are the takeaways of my story here? There are five main things that you need to understand if you wanna overcome your social anxiety. One, sit down and say out loud that you want to change. Two, say out loud that you have the power to change it.
Three, set a goal of what you want to do. For me, it was simply approach a beautiful girl during the day without having a heart attack. Four, start taking very, very small steps that push you a little outside of your comfort zone and closer to your goal. And the fifth and final, most important step is constantly course correct your way there, meaning identify the things that you could do better and fix those things. A really easy example could be someone who’s really afraid of public speaking.
And to correct that, the best thing that that person can do is say something in front of one person. Then talk in front of two people, three people, four people, and just keep increasing it. And do it until you’re comfortable. If you do this, it’s pretty much impossible for you not to reach your goal. But it will take time.
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