Social Anxiety Brought On By Narcissistic Abuse

Social Anxiety Brought On By Narcissistic Abuse

Text version:

hi again everybody so we have a question that I got through my messages and this is something I had made a video about in the past but I wanted to touch on it again and this comes in from someone named Lex this is off hi olli been following your channel for a while since three years I man 28 became aware of mine art father and mother and one of your videos on triggers you talk about the pounding on any subject the NART confined on you I became very socially anxious as a result of my parents if you have any experience like that greetings Lex well of course and that’s something that we all deal with is social anxiety brought on by what I call in my video you’re all you’re on trial for life that pounding you know is basically evidence the other the narcissist uses against you to keep you in check and that is so you don’t challenge them so that you they get you to do whatever you want you to do and they can keep their narcissistic world as they want social anxiety is something I believe probably about 90% of us 90 to 95% of us have to deal with because when you’re on trivalent when anything and everything that the narcissist can find has been used against you your entire life especially when it’s coming from your parents how could you be anything else but socially anxious when you walk around you feel like you’re on you are in a trial the trial never ends you are already guilty see that’s the problem so you’re already guilty it’s not even so much to to trial to almost like an endless sentencing hearing and your sentence is a lifetime of being on trial so it’s like a circular type of argument that it’s why you can’t escape it as long as you’re around your narcissistic abusers which is why I constantly impounding no contact no contact no contact so how do we deal with it mostly is because we’re always waiting to be attacked by somebody and the problem is we don’t know where the attack is coming from but we know the attack is good to pick out something about us you know something something somebody doesn’t like about us and even times that you’re not being attacked you might take something as an attack because you are so socially anxious because you are constantly on trial you’re already guilty there’s no being proven innocent no no no no no this is this is a this is basically a sentencing allocution hearing where you know all your quote/unquote victims are now giving testimony on what a piece of garbage you are and it never ends and the sentence is simply you stay on trial for life as long as you gonna stare as long as you narcissistic victim want to stay in my good graces or in my graces at all you are going to be put on trial for life and that’s why we’re so socially awkward and we get to the point where we don’t want to leave our houses we want to sit in a dark Lane we want to be interviewed of it and fighting and fighting for your own being just fighting not to be picked on and fighting not to be you know hammered with every little point that’s that the narcissist can use against you makes you socially anxious makes you want to not meet the people you know and I find something I was finding that I would get more socially anxious when I was with people and everything was going well it’s like wow I’m having a good time you know anything you get that voice that creeps into the back of your head like oh well the attacks gonna come how is this gonna end and this and then you just become very dour and you can almost feel like your personality change on the spot like from one second everything’s fine as soon as that thought pops into your head you just start when you start regressing right there and usually you find an excuse to go home and lock yourself away and because we wants to really deal with that so yeah that’s how we deal with it and that that that does make a lot of sense and that’s why because you’re always on trial the way to deal with it is to cut your abuser out of your life no contact because as long is that when you’ve got to look at your abuser like prosecutors they’re basically prosecuting prosecuting your life and your being and who you are they’re the prosecutor that the judge did the jury they’re the executioner but the trial never ends trial never ends so that’s my opinion on that one I hope you enjoyed it let me know what you think again thank you everybody who’s donated to the Go. Fund. Me account it’s over 3300 almost 70 percent of goal if you can help out the links in the box if you can share our links in the box I appreciate it again I’d love to get it all wrapped up by the end of the month thank you to everybody who’s donated this is Olli Matthews I’ll see you all again real soon..

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

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Comment (7)

  1. Always on trial is correct.
    Why is it that they threw you away but can’t stop paying attention to what you are doing and always seam to find ways to critique you through your kids or other family members?
    That pisses me off the most.

    Love your videos…. I have to pace myself to only watch or rewatch one or two a day.
    Hearing the truth delivered my someone who shares the same pain touches so many raw nerves.

  2. I’ve never liked being in the spotlight. My pent-up people pleaser mother projected all of her own shy insecurities on myself. Me being something to show off so the world could see how much of a dedicated mother she was and they all believed it.
    I still remember being held in rage and smacked across the mouth several times for saying what she said earlier about how long the grass was to the lady we sold eggs to. I was about 7 years old, the age when you just start to have your own chatty conversations with people. She was worried the origins of my words would be found out so beat me in front of the lady instead… I suspect the lady customer cancelled future egg orders because of what she witnessed.
    I asked several weeks later why we no longer sold eggs to the lady in that particular house and my mother replied ‘because you played up’. My father stood up for me and said ‘bullshit, enough of that’. She had obviously told him what happened but felt no fault herself. A single incident but typical of my mother’s need for public approval at my expense.
    I was always there to make my mother look good and would cringe at her plastic public smiley face that was switched on and off at need but it all backfired that day when her own words were repeated about some long grass and her true nature was revealed. Why would anyone want to be in the spotlight? To be a target when it doesn’t suite someone else’s pantomime?

  3. This speaks to me so much! I am no contact with my family and decided to join roller derby. I am having a hard time passing my physical tests due to feeling like I am constantly being judged. I am physically capable but far to “in my head” The struggle to be normal never ends!

  4. The trial never ends …. A definite lifetime trial, even if u uproot yourself. You just will return to continue where ur trial left off. NEVER ENDS….. Thanks for that clarification and emphasis on this Ollie. These vids really do put plenty into perspective. Thank You.

  5. Their “evidence” is either weak or baseless. All my sociopath dad and stepmom did (found out they were not just narcs recently) was try to kill the light inside of me and it keep it from exposing how dark they really were. They found every excuse to make me look bad, guilty, stupid, (insert negative term here) so they never had to go on trial for what they really are and refuse to do. They never wanna grow up or take responsibility and want everything for free or without effort, unless they did something to leverage something in their self-centered, infantile interests. Furthermore, they wanted me to get blamed for their issues. That is why narcs attack you – and because you are strong enough to expose them (no matter what age or gender you are). You are only socially anxious because they fuck with your emotions to entertain themselves and say in their heads, “At least I don’t have to deal with that!” Anybody who is npd, bpd, or aspd on this forum, stop trolling, grow the fuck up!!

  6. Thank. You. This. Is. My. Life.

    I didn’t realize everyone of them are liars, and that they do it on purpose. And it is a never ending search for excuses for why they are right for attacking.

    Now I know I don’t have to expect this from people, and if they do attack, its not because I’ve done something wrong, its probably because they are disordered.


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