My Battle With Social Anxiety & How I Overcame It
My Battle With Social Anxiety & How I Overcame It
Hey everyone. A much more personal video, please know that I am not a professional and this is just a video about my personal experience having the disorder. This is very personal & I ask that you respect that. If you have any questions, please comment or message 🙂 Thank you!
Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.
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hey guys so today I’m like a video that is very personal to me and it’s something that I’ve never really talked openly about on my channel or even on tumblr I’ve mentioned in passing but I’ve never really talked openly about it but I was thinking last night after I got a question from a viewer she asked me how I dealt with my social anxiety and I was diagnosed and I was 14 years old I was 2 years ago so yeah when I was 14 years old I’m 16 now and yes I was diagnosed by a professional I always kind of held off and doing a video about this because I know people from my real life watch my videos and I’m not really open well actually I am kind of open with them but um I don’t like go up someone said hey I have social anxiety and saw something I really bring up often I’ve never really talked about it on because I never thought it was like a topic that was worth discussing but then last night I was on Twitter right before I went to bed and I bought a tweet from a girl asking me how I deal with my social anxiety and it made me realize that when I was going through this and one of mine was very prevalent I didn’t really have that many people to talk to because I was ashamed but the fact that I had it what is social anxiety okay so I’m just going to read you the definition I had my computer here and so you guys can kind of know what it is if you don’t know already um social anxiety is anxiety about social situations interactions with others and being evaluated or scrutinized by other people the difference between social anxiety and normal apprehension of social situations is that social anxiety involves an intense feeling of fear in social situations and especially situations that are unfamiliar the feeling of fear is so great that in these types of situations one may be so worried that they feel anxious just thinking about them and will go to great lengths to avoid them that was me two years ago I was not happy um I didn’t feel good and feel good about myself I didn’t feel good about the way I loved didn’t feel good inside overall is just a really bad thing and I think that might live the way I have felt about myself was something that contributed to my show social anxiety so for so many years I hated meeting new people going out doing just normal stuff that shouldn’t be an issue for most people I guess like my age and for the longest time I avoided these social situations I can’t tell you how well basically for the entire grade nine year so that was two years ago I’m in grade 11 now from my entire grade nine year or four I’d say 90% of it every single lunch hour I couldn’t even imagine going into the cafeteria during lunch and because of how crowded it was and how many people were there and how many people were there that I didn’t know so I would go to look at the library every single lunch hour and I would just sit there basically because all my friends who I interacted with outside of lunchtime they did go to the library they went and had fun at lunch and ironically enough lunch is my favorite part of the day now but when I was in grade 9 I would go to the library every single day to avoid the social and I guess like the crowded aspects of the cafeteria for me that social anxiety it was the fear of being with tons of people I didn’t know feeling kind of insignificant feeling just scared to go to places with people too scared to go to party scared to go to all these things for the longest time I would create excuses as to why I couldn’t go to people’s parties I’m looking back like those could have been some great memories and I really missed out on it and honestly until last year at grade 10 I feel like my complete high school life was a complete waste this is going to be all over the place video but anyways so I would just kind of when I was in like the peak of my social anxiety stage I would avoid all these social situations I would you know create excuses go to the library saying that I had a lot of work to catch up on when really I just sat there in red I would avoid parties the Void lunches avoid this avoid that and upload of movies I really became very introverted and so in grade 9 so two years ago when I was 14 years old I was taking a psychology class that was offered in my school and we came to the section about anxiety and I never thought about having anxiety I just thought I was shy I thought it was normal it was normal so I started reading about all these types of anxieties and my guidance counselor was also the psychology teacher so I went to go talk to her on one day and I was actually I went to go talk to her for the first time when I was in the cafeteria with my friend dia and she was sitting with me and she wanted to go get up it was just me and her was sitting on a table and she wanted to go get up and go sit with a couple of other friends at a different table and I physically could not get up and go because I thought that the people at the other table would be like oh why is she coming to sit there and like I physically cannot get up and go so I went to the guidance counselor and that’s when my guidance counselor realized that I did have social anxiety disorder I realized through talking with people and through researching and through learning about this subject because it is something so near me that it’s not uncommon and you should be ashamed that you have it and so starting that your own eyes 14 I started going to therapy weekly and honestly my therapist if you live in the Montreal area and you have this disorder and you want to go to an amazing therapist I will definitely contact me I’ll give you her name and number because she honestly changed my life and I credit her so much there are various ways that you can cure cure I mean you can really ever cure it completely because there it can it will always be there but there’s ways that you can overcome it and kind of make it feel and kind of not have those thoughts anymore like now I walk into rooms like when I had it really bad I wouldn’t be able to walk into a cafeteria or anywhere by myself I will always have to have one of my friends if I needed on the bathroom during a lunch time it would always have to be one of my friends like I never could do stuff by myself I don’t mean my friend there holding my head go and got something and maybe that comes with age but for me the thought of going and doing something myself was so frightening that I would rather probably die first then go by myself to a bit of water currently I’m a very social person I love going to parties loved interacting with people so yeah but going to therapy was so helpful to me and some things that I find really helped me get through my social anxiety and sometimes I want to recommend to those of you who are going through it currently is I have I took notes but something I want to tell you guys is that having a social anxiety or having a psychological disorder whether you’re bipolar or whether you have to press or whether you have anxiety generalized anxiety disorder social anxiety whatever don’t be ashamed to have it talk openly about it I mean for the longest time I was ashamed I had it like it was like embarrassing for me that I had this but I think that when I was able to realize that this is nothing to be ashamed about I didn’t choose to have this I was born with it I think it’s important to not be ashamed of it you’re not the only person with it and when you’re open with it sometimes I don’t know but when I was trying to become an open wit about it and talking to people about it and saying look I have this and this is what I did it’s very helpful to me don’t be ashamed to get help go to your guidance counselor if you have a therapist talk to your therapist about it be open about it and get help because if you don’t like you will continue living in your shell and it’s I can’t tell you guys how much amazing life is now that you know that I’ve stopped caring so much about what people think like life really does begin when you stop caring what people think and I were just able to live it’s amazing something else I want to tell you guys is find someone who you can talk to you like a friend that can help you and support you through these tough situations for that for me my friend dia was the most supportive type of person that I had during my whole experience she would help me um another thing when I had social anxiety I couldn’t eat in front of others it was awful and so my friend dia would really push me just one bite just one thing of this and honestly I still remember to this day my friend AJ um he really helped me he didn’t realize he was helping with money he ended up helping me because one day he I was sitting with my friend two guys he came in sat down and I was eating I forgot I was eating whatever I was eating and so you started talking about typical guy gross stuff I was like oh you were eating I’m sorry he didn’t even realize I was eating and that kind of really switched something on in my mind because I realized people don’t care what you’re doing they’re so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t realize well and that leads me to my third point is make yourself uncomfortable as often as you can and I still use this trick all the time because I feel like when you’re when you’re stuck in a comfortable I guess way of life you don’t put yourself into uncomfortable situation so you have no room to grow and so pushing myself in some comfortable situations and doing it more often made me comfortable enlisted in in those situations leading me to become more able to just do regular things and my therapist actually helped me and put that idea in my head because for a while I wasn’t able to like go get up and get a straw if I needed one so or get a napkin if I needed one so she told me that like one of my challenges one week was everyday go up by yourself and get a napkin or get a straw or get a period or get something by yourself go get up go get it and come sit back down and honestly I did that and it was so hard it was so hard the first couple times I remember being so scared and so afraid but doing though that a couple times really helped me and really push me and made me comfortable in uncomfortable situations and I think that something that really helped me now and I don’t always need someone like don’t get me wrong girls go to the bathroom a lot together it’s just something that we do it’s not like I’m a solo walking down the hall just putting myself in the situations it made me able to do those uncomfortable things one thing I just want to say is that the reason I think I was so socially anxious if that makes sense is because I was so overweight and I was very self conscious about the way I looked all the time what people thought about me what people thought about my outfit what people thought about like my stomach my legs whatever ironically or whatever word would fit in that sentence but when I started losing weight that was in grade 9 and when I started getting help from my social anxiety that was in grade 9 too so I think that losing weight kind of made me more confident and kind of called me with my social anxiety so sometimes you have to look at the root causes of why you feel insecure and why you feel unconfident in some word why you feel not confident in social situations for me was definitely my weight another thing I just want to tell you guys is when you have social anxiety the worst thing you can do is to avoid I avoided the cafeteria every single day honestly once I started making myself uncomfortable it really gave me to grow so stop avoiding situations you just have to put yourself in there and you’re not going to like it people probably won’t even notice you but you’re going to feel like a fish out of water it’s hard but it gets easier and you’re not going to regret it you’re not going to regret putting yourself into these situations and helping you grow each and every time one thing that I do want to touch on is that you can actually get medication for your anxiety if you go to a doctor I didn’t I thought about it for a really long time and for a while I was just so upset and so annoyed that um you know that I just kind of wanted the easy way out I mean who doesn’t want the easy way out if you can take a pill and your anxiety is going to go away I mean who wouldn’t want that but number one my mom wasn’t very supportive of it and my school guidance counselor or wasn’t really receptive to the idea she said you have to do what’s right for you and a few feel medications right for you then go for it but I think you can work through it so that’s what I did I D is very very bad because I’m sure my case was not the worst case ever but if you do have really bad anxiety and you do want medication go to the therapist first try and work through it first and if you really are unable to I guess work through it then maybe you should consider getting medication by going to your doctor but I did not I do not take medication for my anxiety I was looking for natural remedies for anxiety like herbs and not drugs not like weed or anything but like natural remedies and there’s this company called relic oil that makes natural remedies to anxiety I don’t really know if it works I have them I took them a couple times but I didn’t really feel any big difference so I’m not um I don’t really know if it works or not if this video can help one person then that would make it worth it for me because I remember what it’s like to be the person sorry um I remember what it’s like to be the person or be the girl who was so afraid to show her who she really was because of she was in social situations and it’s so hard people don’t realize that it’s not just normal shyness it goes above and beyond that and I it’s so hard I so feel for you guys and you are dealing with it please send me a message on or something I’ll do my best to reply just make like marketing the subject or something you will get through it and it’s hard and you won’t think you’ll be able to but you will you will be able to because I mean I’m not I’m completely different than the person I was most fourteen years old um and it took a lot of work but it’s worth it I know I come on camera and sometimes people look at me and they think like oh she’s so lucky um she has nice things and she’s pretty and that I’m not saying that I’m pretty well I mean I don’t think I’m ugly but like I get like a lot of comments oh you’re so pretty I wish I was as pretty and all this stuff and people that don’t understand that just because you don’t see battle wounds or just because you don’t see everything that goes on because all you see is this frame and what I just want to show you guys doesn’t mean that it’s not there and you guys didn’t know when I was dealing with this on it gets easier and it will get better open this video helped at least one person and I’m sorry it was such a disaster and all over the place and I didn’t really plan it out that much now life is so beautiful and life is worth living and life is worth working hard for because I mean when I was 14 years old I never would have thought I would have had the life that I have now and it’s just such a change and I can’t even tell you guys how happy I am right now so um I’m gonna get going since this video is already long enough if you have any advice or tips or anything for people with social anxiety definitely write them down below I’d love to read them even though I mean social anxiety can never be fully cured but you can kind of help recover from it it will always be there so I’d love reading your tips and everything I hope you guys are all having an amazing day see you next video bye..