Johnny Berba’S Best Video On Social Anxiety: People Do Love You
Johnny Berba’S Best Video On Social Anxiety: People Do Love You
Johnny Berba explains that social anxiety is not real and people do love you. The ANXIETY you experience is all in your head. You have to change the story that you belive about yoursef.
Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.
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hey fellas how you did it Johnny in this video I wanted to talk about social anxiety social anxiety is such things ie is it something that I’m really really enthusiastic about I’ve been a Cade and then okay best part of best part of my life to overcoming the condition myself growing up as a kid was really shy I’m really I really struggle with people and it’s weird because I kind of was good at people but I really struggle with people I was kind of confident but as variance I was very insecure I was kind of open bars kind of very closed so this horrible painfully frustrating confusing psychology was ruining me now at the time when I was younger I didn’t understand about and inner monologue we never spoke about this at school they never said my mum never said it parents I don’t remember them unless some for getting a lesson I don’t remember them in maths class or science owari or geography saying this lesson that would teach new is important but not as important is learning how to not identify with your negative thoughts I don’t remember a class on that maybe the schooling system needs to really think about teaching people how to become more socially confident and how to manage sports and we need Eckhart Tolle in the schools Johnny burgers coming soon there’s a pitcher there’s a lot of truth in my jokes as the Irish would say so social anxieties in the mind I used to think social anxiety was in the people I mean it’s in the people in the sense of yourself but when you suffer social anxiety when we say it by definition if you go on Google right social anxiety probably say fear of people fear of being judged embarrassment shame fear of being in public these are all true but that’s not where the anxiety lies that’s not where the fear is fear lies in the mind the social anxiety derives from a story and the story usually goes something like this I’m going to share my old psychology before i rewired it jumped inside got a few angels to come in and mend me up stitched me up and reprogram me and give me some nice healthy new beliefs this is kind of the common story and I know this from having coached hundreds of men on my six weeks program dedicated a lifetime’s worth of videos newsletters blogs articles blood sweat and tears public speaking had all the symptoms myself that’s why I’m a good teacher just reminded that the story will go I can’t be myself around people something won’t let me be me another voice will say Who am I am I the angry person am i the nice person my the open person my the unassuming person not sure another voice will be in the main ways why they gonna think about me as soon as I walk into this room and I enter this room in this party are these people gonna think about me or when I get on the train when I get onto the tube are people gonna think about me the eyes of judgment are on me they’re staring into the depths of my soul they’re judging every bone of my body don’t know every single dark secret they know what I’ve been up to at home they know I’ve been watching pornography they know that I’m uncomfortable what if they can see I’m going sighing what if they can tell them suffering even worse what if they know that I hate them I don’t want to hate them but I hate people because people hate me when we’re afraid of something it’s because we don’t understand it sometimes we hate it we despise it because it makes us feel that way why can’t I get my mind to stop what if I have a conversation with someone and this happens right now what to say of it awkward I get embarrassed to go red what if I say something stupid what if I offend someone what if someone offends me and I lose my temper what if I’m nicer so on and they think I’m trying to be militated what if they ask me a question I’ve done had the answer what is it more attractive than me what if the question comes up what do you do for a living and I’m embarrassed because I don’t like a job and maybe they’ve got better job than me what happens if I go into a group situation and everyone’s speaking connects in a way and I go quiet I look like the odd one out what happens if I walk across the room in a party and I slip fall over and the party pop drink spills all over me and all the foods and the crisps fall down and the whole place laughs it goes ha ha ha what if they know that the walk that I’m and the body language I’m projecting is not real it’s not me I’m faking confidence I’m pretending I’m confident to fit in with people I don’t want them to see I don’t want to see my true self because my true self is all good and shy and swayed what if they can hear the voice in my head what if they can guess what I’m thinking what if they can guess that I’m scared I’m afraid or a mangram resentful I don’t trust them this is a voice but this voice is not who you are she wasn’t born with this voice you didn’t come out of the woman come out of your mummy and have this voice this story was implying on you it’s because of what you’ve been through when you was young but whatever happened at school see the anxiety is not with the people or the events the house parties the business meetings face to face meetings dates online dein the anxieties in the mind we have to remove the hair getting passionate we have to renew the mind by renewing the heart we have to change the perception of our self I have to stop hating myself nice to get about six voices one would say you hate yourself another one would go tonight don’t and no one go yes you do no I don’t it was just so many voices I was like what my mind what the is going on and to stop I don’t want to feel this way or paranoia you’re in the shop you’re queuing up to buy some food and the guy looks at you and he say ah why do you stare at me like that what was he thinking about me was he angry at me was he coming on to me I used to be so paranoid man can you hear our irrational and crazy and psychic my mind used to be you might relate to this or how comes that girl stared at me that’s strange woman staring at me I’m making fun of myself by the way guys I’m showing a bit of fun with this um there’s a lot of seriousness in this why does she start me at 4 I’m gonna go I never think about this so you get home 6 hours passed by I’m taking this up myself I need to do this and it’s saying I wonder what that look was about how come she said to me was she thinking about me now she’s got home I bet she’s thinking bad things about me hold on a second let me check myself in the mirror paranoid I used to be this is what Committee can do it’s people to go it’s not even thinking that and even she was thinking you’re weird who cares one person’s opinion one woman in the whole universe for you looks different or weird we’re all weird I’m mad I’m crazy I’m weird that’s why I’m authentic that’s why you’re authentic another voice comes up opposed to have this voice it’s the social anxiety voice why people get jealous of me what if I come in the room and I still know like a hair look my wave now you could tell her how to call you what if I come in the room and I steal the limelight I’m that I’m them on the Main I’m frightened if I make someone jealous they might try and bully me then I’m gonna mmm I’m gonna knock him out and then I’m gonna pick my monster and I’m locked me up ah so much force it just wouldn’t stop I’m dandy for doing I’m damned if they don’t I think my biggest fear was what if I go to a place and I freeze up and I physically can’t speak I’ve had this quite a few times it’s been a very very great humbling experience and glads laugh about a few years ago what if I get there and someone asked me what’s your name what do you do that you can’t speak but the social anxieties in the mind so we don’t try and change people because we can’t change other people try it it believe me we have to change ourselves so I’m going to tell you I’m just going to tell you how I did it I’m gonna get very straight I’ll tell you how I help in to do I’m a six weeks program and I’m doing it right now one of the first things that comes to mind is we needs to start loving ourself we need to start loving the sound of our own voice have you guys and girls noticed that I like to speak I’m full of myself and I like the sound of my own voice I like the vibration when it comes out I like hearing it back I have to love my own voice because spent years hating my voice I was ashamed of my voice my voice quivered with shame and a seat validation in every sound boy in every heaven and every sound by and every syllable that came out it was looking for approval I was looking for approval before the word came out and now I don’t look for him forever just speak the mind I speak my heart I speak from the heart I say stupid stuff it’s all right you have to give yourself approval but you have to earn it one of the most hardest things to achieve or to acknowledge when you’ve got social anxiety is to give yourself permission I could give you permission now I can say you’re fantastic you blew before you’re wonderful you’re an amazing specimen which I really believe you are but if you don’t believe it it makes no difference so when we’ve got anxiety we aren’t looking for an approval from people we want them to say you’re approve this okay but I’m not going to give you that because half at the time they’re worried about that phone bill they’re thinking about what the girlfriend said well the government didn’t say they’re worried about what you think about them they’ve got their own anxieties so sometimes it’s now this massive false ego the things that we’re so special everyone cares about us I find it relieving and I can breathe and I realize people don’t care that much about me you guys love me of course a lot of you back if I go into a shop or a part you want to date no one really knows me they’re not really cared because everyone’s worried about themself we’re living in quite a selfish world and I mean that in a quite realistic this positive way but people are selfish by Nature you have to stop working on the mind there’s many practices you’ve seen the Johnny barber template which is to go out and to give people compliments get those positive reference points from women and men get used to getting toned down grow a stronger will or stronger character get used to people saying no or being only get and then get used people liking you there’s so many contradicting irrational fears or social phobia anxiety with it’s the terror of connecting with people on a deeper level and it’s the frustration of closing your heart so what you want you’re afraid of it’s a catch 22 you want to commit with people but you don’t want to care of people you want a lot of people but you hate people I know how you feel my friend I transcended from this place of Hell into heaven by changing my mind renewing my heart I found the most powerful practicing will tell you now you have to change our ways to change our minds renew our heart so I said literally changed my whole lifestyle around the way I lived there I changed my habits my behaviors because these habits and these behaviors were coming from a damaged psychology that wasn’t me putting myself down all the time judging people watching rubbish on TV getting involved in in politics that’s got nothing to do with me it’s not going to change my life putting myself in situations that are unintelligent the violent unintelligent constantly looking for ways to judge myself instead of looking for ways to praise myself I had to change my whole way of being I changed bodies but sometimes I say it’s as students I say to people we don’t really change we just reveal or we dissolve these false identities that we built up to protect ourselves that have been conditioned from this mental illness this anxiety in the mind so it makes you feel a lot better to realize that it’s not really the fear of people it’s the fear of you mind you’re afraid of yourself so get control over your mind changing your habits will change your mind sometimes we associate our mind separate to our body we think our mind is different to our habits but lot of the actions we take come from our mind the body follows the mind I started to follow the feelings I love saying that what follow the feelings the good feelings the awareness they call it consciousness the the watcher I feel it I feel it in my stomach some reason get your integrity right stop watching pornography stop judging people get your diet better go for walks start facing your fear gradually put yourself in slightly more pressured social situations that will invoke the feelings up and then you can stop working on the feelings you start getting a better control over the feelings and practice honesty that Johnny Burma blueprint or template but how to connect with people on a soul level and a heartfelt level and how to reduce anxiety start reading more positive books develop hobbies and interest janani hobbies I had that were locked away but I convinced myself I had no interest remember people used to meet me and say what do you like doing and I could only say one thing usually box him I love box him but then many other things I liked because my mind was so damaged and polluted it didn’t enable me to place my concentration other areas which made it more worse but I found through I had to take my mind off it in a sense I did I had to get my mind off worrying about what people thought about me cuz I just get support couldn’t speak to people and they know it feel great because some days I come over yes I did it I’ve just realized that I wasn’t in that story today I actually got on better with people my friend or a stranger I went to the gym do things to get you present even me doing this video now I feel really good doing that feel really present I’m talking about citing my love that I’m passionate about and I’m present I’m focused so practice being present practice doing things that make you present there’s got to be several things that you enjoy doing I know what you’re probably thinking mm hmm everything I want to do revolves around me and people and I want to avoid people okay you can do a little bit of running so what are the things you can do that you can enjoy by yourself I’m going to give you some of my secrets that I like doing really simple things I absolutely love I get so excited going for walks in the park by myself and then finding a nice coffee shop having a coffee I love doing that and that that coming science of getting my laptop out and listening to videos a lot of my music music massively helped me of my social anxiety all kinds of music classical music R&B of rap music eighties music love music music is great for it’s great its grateful I don’t know it’s it connects us that may feel good changes your state I keep saying it sometimes you’d have to change your ways to get different there’s all the inner monologue won’t change if you keep sitting there and I yeah yeah you have to move and change habits when you change habits you’re mostly to change your thoughts start to change and that’s why I become a super positive motivated optimistic all our entrepreneurial coach spiritual and I love life because I hate everything hate myself so I’ve made this change you can change the force in the head and then when you meet people is this weirdest it doesn’t exist they’re just humans the same as me and you that just ask yourself how different could they be from you realistically when you break a man down or a woman people are not going to be that much different to you’re a human being you’re in flesh bones you’ve got heart pulse you’re breathing air they’re not much different to you how difficult can it be to have a conversation but I know it can be difficult when you’ve got this thing but it’s easy you make it difficult in your mind if you really have to call out tell them say I’ve come in today to this event because I’ve got I’ve got a form of social anxiety I’m working on it I have quite a shy person but I’m here to improve make a negative a positive that’s a great way to get a conversation off reward yourself with mistakes even if you go there and you up you fall over you start happens to be in the video sometimes you guys know it’s a star this is all stuff from the past all ticks creeping up on me better to go and try and make mistakes and do nothing at all that will change the inner monologue get into spirituality spirituality is fantastic for an inner happiness make more money it take a risk start a business or get books on business change your fashion change a grooming speak to women practice the honesty stuff at each on meet other men like you look got anxiety is no shame in it you’re talking to one right now an ex offer up the quiet done meet other people that have been for the same as you you’ll have a connection it instantly I was talking to a guy yesterday on skype I was coaching and I said the same thing I said you were saying that you can’t connect with people that’s not true and he said how’s that are you doing it now you connect him with me and X suffer I we both had the same condition and then we had a fantastic conversation for an hour it’s like his anxiety went away and it did go away for that I told him I said look how different you are from when you first got in touch with me he’s flowing everywhere from the laughs that’s why they’re saying is my man used to say to me you’ve got to take your mind off things Jonathan and that she was saying to me relax take the mind with it going go for a walk sometimes what should film a positive film so much you can do to overcome it to change the mind and that’s even before you’ve done the practical social things have speakers people speak to yourself kindly I have enough I have enough I am beautiful I’m rich I’m healthy I’m motivated I’m beautiful actually they’re really sorry I’m not socially anxious we’re talking about an absolute things I’m socially confident course women like me why wouldn’t they I like me I’m different I’m authentic I’m strange I’m interested I’ve got many talents I’ve got thousands of talents I’m the same I’m connected to everyone talk nicely to yourself the more we talk out loud nicely the more inside stops and speaking different of course I’m enough why wouldn’t I be I’m too much I’ve got to give some over I’m full of love don’t be afraid of silence a lot of people with social anxiety afraid of this we’re afraid we think well you think I’m gonna be exposed people are gonna look into my eyes and the depths of my soul and catch me out catch me out for what since when was having fear a crime show me a man who doesn’t have fear I’ll show you a liar great men have fear great women are fear practice silence of presence practice getting caught out practice exposing yourself to the feelings stand in the middle of a busy street do what I do my videos I’ve always taught lists of my programs and get people to stand in front of the fair looking face on practice being judged by people being judged by people is never as harmful as you judging yourself that inner critic is the most vicious a violent irrational racist horrible dishonest Crick you’ll ever meet and it’s not used of story in your head you can change it get inside an engineer and shut up and create a new voice no one ever in a house party on a first date is ever going to criticize you as much as you’re in a voice that tells you everything the social anxiety does not exist that silence in the mind you can change it when you change your mind change everything you build a whole new social circle learn to manage your mind because we all have negative thoughts I’ll leave you of that I wanted to inspire you wanted to give you sign that was honest that was raw that was real and it’s all in the mind and telling you it’s all in the mind and it’s so exciting when you can disprove it disproven it becomes the challenge it becomes the joy I would say to people self esteem self esteem is earned and developed through rigorous suffering and practice but the suffering and the practice and and the pain is is a temporary pain a short term pain for long last games are like that love you enjoy the process overcome your anxiety..