How To Stop Being Shy And Nervous | Cure Shyness & Nervousness

How To Stop Being Shy And Nervous | Cure Shyness & Nervousness

Write up:

we all have that inner voice that talks to us and tells us that we should say this or do that and just take action and move forward and say this thing but we’ve been taught to suppress it to not follow it that it’s wrong that this is just not right that’s not reasonable it’s not socially acceptable to follow this impulse and that you never ever ever should express yourself in that way around other people and what that basically tells us is that we shouldn’t be expressive we should just hold ourselves back so no wonder so many people become shy and reserved and they don’t want to express I had to go through a whole process just to get over myself if you go back on my channel and watch my first video you’ll see me struggle to even get words out and what I do it doesn’t sound very good because I’ve been so stuffed down and told not to talk from the heart be very logical and in your head about everything that you say and this creates an almost impossible scenario for you to actually express yourself talk to people socialize interact and enjoy life because a big part of the fun is actually meeting other people talking to them connecting with them and building good relationships but you can’t do that if you’re all stuck in your head listen here’s one of the biggest problems that shy people face it’s very simple you are basically accepting the label the term shy or reserved or anxious and saying that okay that’s me now and then you keep telling yourself that oh the reason I can’t talk to that person or I saw a guy or girl that I really like and I can’t talk to them it’s because I’m shy it’s because I’m shy I’m just a shy guy and I’m a shy guy I’m a shy motivational speaker apparently because I used to be shy and really all that is is a term that you use to rationalize your behavior basically to justify and make okay make peace with that you’re not going to do what you actually want to do how’s that for being shy it’s not something that you are you don’t just become shy and that’s the natural state of a human being it’s something messed up and twisted that ends up being the bye of society telling you that when you’re in school and you sit there and you start talking while the teacher is teaching they tell you to shut up right shut up or your mom and dad are talking when you’re younger and you come in and you interrupt and you you’re all excited you want to tell them something and I go shut up Billy go in the corner and of course what does this tell you it tells you don’t talk don’t express yourself don’t share don’t connect don’t try to interact with people just keep it to yourself just keep to yourself just slow down be quiet don’t ask so many questions don’t be so difficult and of course there’s no wonder that you’re stuck with you know struggling to express yourself there’s a whole process now to go back because if you’re at zero and by zero I mean neutral you would be able to talk you would be able to express yourself you wouldn’t have problems being shy every human being knows how to interact with people and so really what you have to do is just get yourself back to neutral like not stuck in your own head not thinking not rationalizing and that’s really where all the trouble comes in I’ve trained quite a few speakers actually and I see something interesting in the pattern that many people struggle with being too much in their head they want their presentation their Power. Point to be all perfect right and I also work with people on social anxiety and I’ve seen that there what happens is that they’re also rationalizing in their head they’re also thinking about what might happen if this then that and what if I say this and they respond like this and then my life is over and this is a common theme for people that are shy or reserved or very much so and their head is the way that I would describe it and I used to be one of these people the way that you overcome it the way that you go through it is you listen to that inner voice okay I know it’s hard in the beginning because it’s very quiet but to tell you the truth that’s where I’m speaking from right now it’s coming through me it’s not something that I’m you know thinking about in my head or really strategizing and coming up with it’s just flowing and that’s what I want you to do I want you to find your flow there’s always something there you know that when you’re in the social interaction it says Oh talk to that girl or Oh talk to that guy or say this and it just comes up it’s an impulse but what shy people have been trained to do is to suppress that and that’s the definition of shy for me the shy person is the one who suppresses this and says no I don’t express myself I gotta keep it down because oh what if something bad happens right what if something bad and they’re all frantic in their head stuck there’s a thought loop it keeps going around and around and around and you can never get out unless you say hey hey enough enough I am done I don’t want to keep repeating this I don’t like where I am right now I want to start to express myself a huge tip is turn on the video camera and just start talking go outside and just say hey to the first person that you see you know just start getting yourself into the habit of following that inner intuition that’s really what it is and following through what it’s telling you to do and challenge yourself to do that every day of your life if you can do that you’re going to be a much happier person you’re gonna be able to connect with people and you’re gonna stop calling yourself shy because you’ll actually change who you are and what you come across as to other people they will instantly feel a shift in your energy you’ll start to communicate better you start to enjoy having conversations you’ll find it easy to make friends and to build relationships and you’ll actually enjoy your life a lot more and you’ll stop calling yourself shy or anxious or reserved ..

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

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Comment (18)

  1. what if u do something and u meant good by it but people think bad about it and suddenly they just turn against u and your alone. I know that’s not from the topic but yea

  2. i have a too of my life friends i’v known them since 10 years from now i’m 15 but i love them but i’m the only one who is allways shy just becuz i’m scared of the way they gonna react of the things that i do

  3. I’m just anxious about what would happen if I do something… How bad it could be and I feel so anxious that I can’t face anything. And I give up

  4. The more you worry the worse it gets, focus on enjoying the moment and have fun 🙂 Everything will be much easier and better that way

  5. I am actually trying I work as a customer agent at the airport for 4 months now and Im still so anxious at work or around my co workers. I try and talk and socialise but I can’t always come up with things to say and even tho I tell myself all the time don’t be nervous just relax and focus I’m still way too nervous and I make stupid mistakes..

  6. You got some great advice there from a fellow watcher! So definitely keep that in mind. I’d also add this: Embrace it! What’s wrong with being nervous? If this is an important exam then that’s a perfectly adequate way to feel about it. Accept the feeling and use it as motivation to really get this down, concentrate and give it your very best effort!

  7. It s so true, especially that about our society that keeps telling us we shouldn t express ourselves, that we should shut up. I am watching your videos over and over again, they re the best :).

  8. Thanks Moritz! It’s been over 5 years, but I didn’t take it seriously in the beginning. My life changed drastically in that first year (3 years ago) where I really started applying all of the principles and philosophies.

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