How To Overcome Social Anxiety: The Most Powerful Realization For Taking Your Power Back

How To Overcome Social Anxiety: The Most Powerful Realization For Taking Your Power Back

These are the most powerful realizations I’ve had to dramatically change the way I show up in the world. In this video I explain my story and how I have come to show up more powerfully in public and around people. The only reason we feel inferior or anxious around people is because we are judging ourselves and putting a high expectation for how we “think” we are supposed to act. In this video I explain how we can let go of those limitations while making inner realizations that allow us to be who we are meant to be. Much love!

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

“Welcome back to another video. In this one I share with you how I overcame the idea of social anxiety and what I do I give you some practical realizations that can really change the way that you think about yourself and how you relate to your environment. Now for me this was something that I went through just a little bit later than most people in life and that’s simply because of my story of like how I was brought up.

“To make a long story short, between the ages of nine to 15, I lived with very little social interaction other than the idea of school. Between that period in my life, my dad was with some of that was my ex-stepmom and she was very strict, had a very much like a military type style attitude and because of that me and my brother will just work outside a lot, do a lot of chores, we weren’t allowed to really do many extracurricular activities at school. Because of that there wasn’t as much social interaction there and even when there was, it was a lot more awkward because we’re like, “What the hell do we relate to?”

“We’d sit around all day with shovels and shit, like there’s not much to relate to kids that are at home playing PS3 and all that stuff. Because of that, between that ages of 15 when my dad divorced her, all of a sudden, me and my brother, my brother is three years younger than me, all of a sudden we had this freedom. We were allowed to go hang out with friends, we were allowed to do extracurricular activities and one thing I really had to learn between the ages of about 15 to 17 was how to be in groups and not feel anxiety.

“One thing that I went through is I remember that when I started to make friends and I started to go out more, I remember that friends would invite me to go to a kickback or some party and I would just start to feel very anxious even if the people that were there were people that I knew of or knew, I would still feel anxious. For me, I remember one of the switches that made in my mind, one of the realizations I came to was actually when I was at a party with a friend and we were just having a good time. We were in amusement. We were just doing things that we thought were funny and it was just two of us and there was the rest of the party was going on.

“I realized that when we’re in that state and we’re just self-amusing ourselves almost and regardless of anyone else is in on the joke that we were on, even if people would walk by and would be like, “Oh, it’s ridiculous whatever you guys are laughing about,” we wouldn’t really care because of the state that we were in.

“What I really began to understand was that if we could tailor our state or do little things like what I would do is I would get myself into a certain state to where then the social anxiety would just bounce off or it actually wasn’t even there and that came from understanding that if we go into an environment, understand that we can control how we feel, that the one thing that we have power over is our state of being, what we then begin to do is switch the script. Instead of us being at the effect of our environment we then become the cause of it simply because we don’t see things as happening to us.

“That’s what I learned, instead of seeing the environment that’s happening to me, me walking around and trying to fit in with other people I started to see them blend together. I saw me as a part of the environment and I started to see people as more in my frame of reality rather than me in their frame. Now if that makes sense.

“Now, this was ultimately something that I elaborated on years later because that’s something that I really hammered out on now is understanding our frame of who we are, how we define ourselves to be and if we maintain a strong frame, people will mold to the frame that we put. Now this doesn’t mean we need to be egotistical but what this is saying is that if we understand that we are not a victim of circumstance, that we are not a victim of our environment, we begin to then automatically switch the script for if we’re going to feel anxiety in public to knowing that we have control over our state of being, of how we define the situation to be.

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This video is about How to Overcome Social Anxiety: The Most Powerful Realization for Taking Your Power Back

Video text:

welcome back to another video and this one I share with you how I overcame the idea of social anxiety and what I do I give you some practical realizations that can really change the way that you think about yourself and how you relate to your environment now for me this was something that I went through just a little bit later than most people in life and that’s simply because of my story of like how I was brought up but to make a long story short between the ages of 9 to 15 I lived with very little social interaction other than the idea of school so between that period in my life my dad was with some of that was my ex stepmom and she was very strict had a very much like a military type style attitude and because of that me and my brother would just kind of like work outside a lot do a lot of chores we weren’t allowed to really do many extracurricular activities at school because of that there wasn’t as much social interaction there and even when there was it was a lot more awkward because we’re like what the hell do we relate to like we sit around all day with shovels and like there’s not much to relate to kids that are at home playing you know ps3 and all that stuff and because of that um it between that ages of 15 when my dad divorced her all of a sudden me and my brother my brothers three years younger than me all the sudden we had this freedom we were allowed to go hang out with friends we were allowed to do extracurricular activities and one thing I really had to learn between the ages of about 15 to 17 was how to like be in groups and not feel anxiety and one thing that I went through is I remember that like when I started to make friends and I started to go out more I remember that friends would invite me to go to like a kickback or like some party and I would just start to feel very anxious even if the people that were there were people that I knew of or knew I would still feel anxious and for me I remember one of the switches that made in my mind one of the realizations I came to was actually when I was at a party with a friend and we were just having a good time like we were in amusement like we were just like doing things that we thought were funny and it was just two of us there was like the rest of the party was going on but I realized that when were in that state and were just like self amusing are Elves almost and regardless of anyone else is in on the joke that we were on even if people would walk by and would be like oh it’s ridiculous whatever you guys are laughing about we wouldn’t really care because of the state that we were in so what I really began to understand was that if we could tailor our state or do little things like what I would do is I would get myself into a certain state to where then the social anxiety would just kind of bounce off or what actually wasn’t even there and that came from understanding that if we go into an environment understand that we can control how we feel that the one thing that we have power over is our state of being what we then begin to do is switch the script instead of us being at the effect of our environment we then become the cause of it simply because we don’t see things as happening to us that’s what I learned instead of seeing the environment is happening to me me walking around and trying to fit in with other people I started to see them kind of blend together I saw me as a part of the environment and I started to see people as more in my frame of reality rather than me in their frame now if that makes sense now this was ultimately something that I elaborated on years later because that’s something I really hammered out out now this understanding our frame of who we are how we define ourselves to be and if we maintain a strong frame people will mold to the frame that we put now this doesn’t mean we need to be egotistical but what this is saying is that if we understand that we are not a victim of circumstance that we are not a victim of our environment we begin to then automatically switch the script for it if we’re going to feel anxiety in public to knowing that we have control over our state of being of how we define the situation to be now understand also this the way that I define anxiety more so has to do with putting a negative judgment on to the feeling of excitement so if I go somewhere for example that’s a party and I know everybody there I might feel excited but that excitement I think is natural when you’re know that you’re about to be around a whole bunch of people or you know that there’s unexpected things that could happen that’s excitement is a natural byproduct of that but what happens is is that excitement will be there even if you go to a party that you think you’re going to feel social anxiety around or even if you go in public for example that feeling of anxiety is just a negative definition on to that label of excitement so it’s a misinterpretation of a feeling that we have and because we affect our energy based upon how we think about ourselves and how we define ourselves to be we then impose a feeling onto it that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy so what we can learn how to do is not to dis identify the feelings we have with negative connotations or negative definitions that don’t necessarily serve who we are and one simple way of doing that is to reframe what that feeling is is to reframe what it means for you to go out in public altogether for you to go to a party that’s when I started to enjoy parties which is instead of seeing me as an effect or like the victim of circumstance and me trying to fit in I started to see myself in a higher light to accept myself for who I am and the more that I did that the more that I detached from what people think because I was believing more in myself I was having more intention on expressing myself than impressing people in another way so it’s about expression not impression do not try to impress do not try to give people a perspective about who you are simply understand that you will express your inner bead of who you are you will express the ideas that you want to talk about and as you begin to do that you’ll find that people begin to mold to that frame of perception that you have to that frame of how you define yourself to be the key or I guess the trick is that most of us go into you know social interactions and we impress a frame onto other people we give our power away because we are saying to our environment that I am a victim of circumstance I am a victim do whatever happens in this environment and because of that we get emotionally thrown around with how we feel because we are constantly being in different environments we are constantly having new levels of stimulation then we get caught up in our head and we don’t know necessarily how to act because we are getting immersed in our thinking rather than actually being and one of the simplest ways to transcend that is to simply go into what is called self amusement now for me self amusement is one of my favorite things to do self amusement is simply doing something because you want to do it regardless of what anybody else thinks now this is something that I do if I am going to work for example I work a sales job so if I go in for the day and I feel a little bit like I’m not loose I’ll just start doing things for my own self amusement I might say random things I might push myself to express myself in different ways just to get out of my bubble of trying to be correct about everything and like put on a certain persona of I’m this like confident sales man you the more that I realize I do that the more that I set up a false perimeter of false identity for who I am the more that I end up like it almost brings me down because I’m trying so hard to maintain an identity of something that doesn’t really exist so instead of impression I focus on expression now realize that if you switch the flip and go from being a victim of circumstance to all the sudden understanding that you are a part of your environment that everything is a reflection of what you define it to be you then automatically begin to gain your power back because instead of feeling anxiety you can redefine that feeling of excitement you can define it as excitement even if that negative judgment starts to come in you can catch it and as you begin to observe it you begin to switch the flip and you might find that that excitement because to build inside your chest that’s what happened for me now when I go to parties if I go out in public if I’m talking to other people that I don’t know and I need to like we don’t connect with them what I do is I focus first on self amusement I focus on being in my own frame I focus on what can I do to make myself feel better now and how can I share my energy I see people as an extension of my environment not as separate from me but as an extension when I see people I think about them in terms of everyone is my friend I am collaborating with my environment and because I come at it from that frame they begin to mold to that reality to that definition that I have and I find that that social anxiety goes away anyways so remember some easy ways to get out of feeling social anxiety is the first off let go of all the definitions of what you think that feeling is let go of how you define yourself to be thinking that you need to be anything different than what you feel like expressing about yourself and you’ll notice that I said expressing about yourself not impressing yourself because of that you can learn how to express yourself in powerful ways you can learn how to be the cause of your environment not at the effect and because of that you will then be controlling your state of being you will be in self amusement and you will find that you then develop an ecology of positive emotion because your energy literally becomes contagious you have power over one thing in your life and that is your state of being that is your own mind you can take control of that by taking control of how you feel feeling transcends intellectual ideas feeling transcends being in your head if you learn how to feel if you learn how to be if you learn how to be light about things to have self amusement to have fun I promise you social anxiety will be a thing of your past so that’s it for today I hope you guys enjoyed this video feel free to like this video if you liked it share it if you found it a value and I’ll see you guys on the next vid I peace much love..

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Comment (15)

  1. dam dude you killed this video. my life sucks right now. and you just motivated me to the fullest..i cant even walk properly .people make fun of me so much…great video.

  2. Great video…. I’m going to watch it a few more times as it resonates a lot with me. What I’m getting from it right now is that you are able to create your own reality and self image, and don’t have to be the victim of what others think of you. I have been particularly sensitive and suggestible to the boxes and labels others have tried to impose on me, and it’s only recently that I have been making a serious effort to be myself on my own terms. I’m improving but when I’m under stress I find that I’m more suggestible to people’s labels, vibes, perceptions etc of me…. I look forward to being unaffected by other people’s criticisms.

  3. Perfect time to post this, about see a lot of family and I’m pretty nervous about it.
    Thank you for the awesome videos! Happy holidays!

  4. The last bit about feelings transcending intellectual ideas really made me emotional. I really felt the passion there Aaron. Great video, I do not even have social anxiety, but this video still brought a lot to me. I think often I try to adjust too much, to change. And after seeing this video I just imagined myself going somewhere and actually being there for me. And that vision I had simply felt wonderful

  5. Sorry its hard for me cause in my mind I feel like people are going to make fun of me especially when I am around crowds. Not only that some things from my past as well.

  6. Dear Aaron thank you so much for sharing your experiences it’s helping me a lot. Social anxiety and low self esteem are my monsters that I’m trying to battle. I have been diagnosed at age of 40 and what you doing is truly a noble cause to make a difference to help me and others to cope our ADHD.Thank you so much again and I can’t wait for your next video…Best Regards…Elle
    P.S. Best feeling ever I’m not alone

  7. You’re SO good at communicating ideas in a way i’ve never really heard before. I love your consistency and quality with these videos <3

  8. Just one question- When I stress on expressing and I lose my breath which is very common I guess in my case when talking to people of high authority or strangers, How do I control my breath or avoid stammering?

  9. I suffer from really bad social anxiety and this is probably the first video I’ve ever watched that truly gave me advice that 100 percent works, I’ve tried these things and it’s amazing!!

  10. Love this video ! I esp liked every time u said ‘ switch the flip’ ..Freudian slip perhaps Aaron ! AGREE 100% EXPRESS yourself ,not Impress OTHERS xx

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