How To Overcome Shyness – My Story

Themakeupchair Shyness – My Story

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Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.



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hi everybody today I want to do a video about boosting your confidence and this was actually a highly requested video which is kind of funny because I actually have very little confidence in myself and I have slowly had to build myself up to being you know able just to do everyday things because I struggle with things like panic attacks the anxiety of even leaving the house was very difficult for me keeping eye contact with people that was hard I would have kind of selective mutism in school and stuff so all these kind of things that you know can really bring you down and to stop you from being even yourself because inside my head I have all these kind of you know expressions and I want to talk about stuff but I have all this kind of layers of built up anxiety that it just it will not come out and I have to really concentrate and focus to try and get any type of emotion out I think I think put your on so how is that working but sitting here in front of a camera in an empty room there is nobody in my house right now like my boyfriend’s not home so I’m just set here in front of a camera and it’s so easy to talk to myself in my brain like I’m just and to say that words rather than you know talking into a big group of people for I get into how I overcame it because it is a constant thing you have to keep doing it but before I get into that I just want to say you are not alone okay you do not have to feel like there’s something wrong with you just because you don’t like being center of attention or you don’t like talking to group of people or you blush a lot or you have panic attacks and you anxiety attacks because I know for me I used to be like why can’t I just be like everybody else but everybody has their problems there are little problems and sometimes they may you may not see them but they’re there and just because you’re a little bit shy and a little bit kind of reserved don’t feel like that a terrible thing because it’s really not it’s just part of your character and you can just build with your confidence try and show yourself to the extent you want to and not let that anxiety build up and kind of stop yourself from being expressive so I’m going to work in different steps the very first thing that I would say to people is to start off with the basics and start off very slowly and work your way up if you jump into something that makes you feel really really anxious it can make you kind of even more reserved and build up those layers of anxiety and then you can just stop wanting to do anything and stop wanting to even try so build yourself up by doing little tiny things things that you can possibly do but I’ve never done before and then kind of work on from there for an example for me is that I would have a terrible problem talking to people in shops and that was something that now I’m okay about but when I was in my early teens I used to really struggle with going up to a counter and saying can I have that can I pay for this and giving the money in and maybe talking to them and that I was feel really really anxious with people and I couldn’t keep eye contact with the person behind the desk either I would just feel like you know handle my money keep looking at the counter take the change back and I put it in my purse and I was just like I couldn’t keep on eye contact or communicate with that person so it’ll just be like this blockage another problem for me is when I had to go home buy a ticket in the cinema to go and see a movie that would be really kind of daunting for me and I would keep my head down and I would be like what’s the name of the movie and I have to say the name of the movie over and over and over in my head because by the time I got up there this is I he would take over and I would forget everything in my brain at worst I probably couldn’t have even recited my name that’s how anxious I would get so little things like just going up to the counter and change yourself okay just say hi handing the money and just keep replaying it over in your head about like you’re going to say hi to this person you’re going to say can I get this if they say to you oh this is a nice dress if you’re buying a dress or you’re buying this now you can say yes it is I’m just like you know slowly build off in your brain about how to deal with certain situations because the more times that you put yourself into different situations even the kind of smallest smallest little list of communicating with someone that you don’t know the easier it will become as you’re taking the little steps to become a little bit more confident another thing that you can do is to have a backup and that’s to have somebody there with you that makes you feel a little bit more at ease and a little bit more settled for me that’s my sister she makes me feel a little bit more kind of confident and eases any anxiety that I have because I can always kind of turn to her and say oh my gosh like I made a fool of myself oh such you know I’m such an eejit whereas like if I’m there by myself all I’m thinking in my head is I’m such a neat jump such a fool I’m so stupid and this would start to build up those layers of anxiety again and I start to turn really bad but if I can turn to my sister and say oh my gosh I made such a fool of myself there and she goes no you didn’t you know I can just be like oh I can relax about it because talking about it definitely does help can’t have that person with you that maybe just say to them look I’m giving a speech at school like one o’clock and when we finished at half past can I call you afterwards or can I meet you after school or something like that something that you can just you know focus on the actual thing that you have to do and then afterwards go at least I have this backup eventually after you’ve done these things a few times and you keep repeating them over and over and over again then you might find yourself I don’t need a backup now I can actually do this by myself but if you take a break from it you may find that you’ve gone right back to where you started so continuously doing stuff will actually improve it and the more times you experience different situations the easier you will find to deal with a new situation another thing that worked for me is when I would have difficulty leaving the house because of anxiety I would say in my head okay right well I’m only gonna go as far as this one shop so I would think about I was like it’s okay I can go as far as the shop and I would get there and I would like buy something or something and then I feel like oh okay well now I’ve made it to this shop why don’t I go to another shop why don’t I keep going to this other shop and why don’t I go to like pennies or Duns or you know shops that I like going to so then I would kind of you know come out of this kind of zone because before it would be like tremendously difficult to think okay I could go all the way down over there I could go to go to the like shop on the forest on the side of town like that would make me feel really anxious but if I just told myself okay we were just going to go as far as this shop that I could probably end up going to the really far away shop but because I told myself that I was going to take it slow and just take it step by step it was a lot easier for me the more you do something the better it is trying to keep going have a backup system if possible or be your own backup system and tell yourself that you are good and you are a good person and you don’t deserve to be nasty to yourself so to keep those negative thoughts away and keep telling yourself that you’re good you’re good person I have to admit when I was thinking about doing this video and laughed of my anxiety started to come back because I started to think about how bad I used to be and all the things that used to really bother me before and thinking about school the schools particularly hard for me I I’ve got my worst probably wouldn’t have even gone in for a full week like I would miss at least one day a week and then one morning week and then it became the fact that I was just never in school whatsoever because it was the most torturous thing for me it was very very difficult and I think if I’d started a little bit earlier I’m becoming a little bit more confident and I’d be able to deal with it more but it was just it was complete hell for me I will admit that it was very difficult for me to be in school because I just was filled with all the society all the time I really hope that this helps you because you’re not alone and I actually I feel so bad for the person that I was because she was so you know upset all the time and I’m getting upset thinking about it but she was so upset and so insecure all the time that I just wish I could tell her it gets better it really does I’m getting so upset I don’t know why woo so that’s pretty much all I have to say and I’m do apologize my face is gone alright feel free to leave any comments about how you dealt with your anxiety panic attacks or anything related to being a little not so confident so just leave a comment and I will talk to you soon and please remember that you are not alone and that we also for from different things in our life and different issues okay..

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