How To Overcome Fear And Anxiety In 30 Seconds
How To Overcome Fear And Anxiety In 30 Seconds
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In this video Stefan talks about how to overcome fear and anxiety in 30 seconds or less.
Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.
“Now fear is something that I am familiar with because I grew up with a lot of it. If you don’t know my story I used to be shy. I used to have a lot of anxiety, a lot of fear.
I was a video gamer so I just protect myself from fear just by spending all my time by myself at home in front of the computer where I would be totally safe.
And sure enough I had goals I had desires when I was young in high school I wanted to meet women and had a girlfriend, things like that but my fear kept me back. My fear paralyzed me.”
To learn more on how to overcome fear and anxiety, check out the blog post below.
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hey guys Stefan here from projectlifemastery. com in this video I want to talk to you about how to overcome fear now fear is something that I’m familiar with because I grew up with a lot of it if you don’t know my story I speak very shy I used to have a lot of anxiety a lot of fear I was a video gamer so I just you know protect myself from fear just by spending all my time by myself at home and from the computer where I’d be totally safe and sure enough I had goals I had desires you know it when I was young in high school I wanted to meet women and have a girlfriend things like that but my fear kept me back my fear paralyzed me in fact I also remember you know being in high school whenever the teacher would call upon me to say something in class I would just always freak out I would have a panic I mean that died member certain times I would ask to go to the bathroom or excused myself or my face would turn red and get embarrassed I was horrible at public speaking so I’ve made an incredible transformation and tell many extents I’ve been able to overcome fear now I believe that fear is natural fear is something that we all experience and really it’s hardwired into us as humans and it’s a good thing because fear keeps us alive fear is there to keep us safe to protect us you know we need to have a comfort zone in some way because you know that’s what’s kept us for thousands of years running away from dinosaurs and things like that so the fear is a good thing however in certain circumstances you need to learn how to overcome fear to use fear to your advantage and not have that fear stop you you know there’s a great book if you feel the fear and do it anyway so like it says in the book you know we all have fear you need to feel it but you still need to do it anyways you can’t let that fear hold you back you can’t let it stop you so I have a few things to share on this subject I think it really helped you in overcoming fear so that it’s not holding you back in your life and you can start to take action and move forward the first thing I want you to understand is that fear is an emotion okay fear is emotion it’s a state it’s an emotional state that we experience and it’s really no different than happiness or anger or frustration or confidence or inner peace or whatever these are all different emotions emotional states all different feelings that we and in order to experience certain emotional states there’s a certain pattern that we all experience in our bodies in our minds and in our language that basically put us in that state of mind of fear and whatever emotions that we have you know if you studied neural linguistic programming which I got my practitioner certification not too long ago it talks a lot about you learn a lot about emotional states emotional patterns and how we are the ones that are in control of these emotions you know a lot of people believe that I feel fear and I feel angry and frustrated and all that because of external sources we believe that it’s because of your boss or is because of this thing or the recession or the economy and that’s that’s just something that triggers it however that fear those emotions are something that you have a hundred percent control over you have no control over the outside world but you have a hundred percent control of your inner world and what things means you have a hundred percent control of how you decide to use your body how you decide to use your focus and how you decide to use your language and those are all three things that radically change the ways that the ways that we feel so let me ask you a question right now if you’re in that fearful state if you have fear or anxiety or however you want to describe it what’s your body like when you have fear because we all have a certain pattern and you know it’s a lot of things are very universal but for some people it could be a little bit different but if I were to ask you if you could remember a time in your life when you felt fear you felt anxiety you felt scared to do something maybe it was a goal of business public speaking whatever it is you know if you were to ask yourself how are you how are you using your body in that moment what would it be my light you know my my guess is that if you’re fearful or you’re scared if you were to go back to that moment your physiology might be you know slouched to slouched over you know maybe you’d be kind of more closed off in your body maybe your breathing would be very shallow you know what would that expression be on your face you know these are all things that affect how we feel now you might say this think that that sounds very simple and it is but how we use our body or physical he affects how we feel you know emotion is created by motion and so you know if you took any person as scared or fearful there’s a certain physiology to them there’s a certain way they’re using their body maybe they have tension in their body their shoulders are down their you know their breathing is shallow they’re looking down if you know if I were to take myself when I was you know young and shy and you were to say to me go talk to that girl over there I would immediately go into a state of fear and I’d be very shy and I was very closed off and you know I’d be looking down I couldn’t keep good eye contact my voice would be quiet there’s a certain physiology to that there’s a physiology to the fear so that’s the first thing that I want you to look at is how are you used in your body when you when you are fearful when you are scared a second part is what do you focus on what do you have to think about that makes you feel fearful you know because I can almost guarantee that if you have a state of fear and you’re accessing that emotion it’s because you’re focusing on certain things that are making you feel that way you know I’ll just use the example of me you know trying to talk to a girl when I was younger you know so if you’re say hey you know go talk to that girl over there and I’d be scared and fearful what would I be focusing on well you know she’s probably not gonna like me I’m probably gonna get rejected it’s not going to work out I’m probably gonna fail I’m gonna embarrass myself in front of everybody she probably has a boyfriend she’s going to tell me the f off you know I’d have all these thoughts going through my head which is what I’m focusing on the more that I focus on that of it not working out and the worst case scenarios the more fear I’m going to feel okay is that makes sense so your focus is also another core component of what’s going to determine how you feel but not just your focus but how you represent things to yourself in your mind you know we learn this in neuro linguistic programming that the images that we make the size of them the the color the shape the distance all these things are called sub modalities all amplify are intensified different emotions because focus when you focus on things really just making pictures in your mind okay so what do you focus on what kind of thoughts and and things do you focus on to feel that fear and the third piece is what kind of words do you use what kind of language patterns do you use what do you say to yourself you know oh it’s not going to work out she’s not going to like me I’m not good enough for her all those words all those phrases also produce different emotions as well so when you understand that fear is just a pattern fear is a state you have total control of that and you can shift it you can change it and so what I’d sure what I’d like to invite you to do you can maybe you know listen to me first but but I’d like to invite you to do is that anytime you notice yourself experiencing that state of fear and you feel those emotions is to immediately change those three factors that I just mentioned okay so if I were to ask you right now you know what’s the opposite of fear you know maybe you’d love to experience confidence or certainty in your body and if I were to ask you how would you stand or use your body if you feel comfortable if you felt relaxed you felt confident and certain what would that physiology look like you know likely your head would be a pee pee back or shoulders up maybe a smile on your face a certain look in your eyes you know a way that you’re breathing maybe it’s more full maybe there’s you know more relaxation in your body hand gestures where your voice is louder better eye contact again confident certainty relaxation there’s a certain physiology as a certain body language that also if you you know we’re totally fearless and you’re totally confident what would you be focusing on what kind of thoughts what you have just an example of you know me trying to go talk to a girl tell you is that again um you know I think probably if I was confident and relaxed I probably think about well she’s just gonna love me you know why wouldn’t she want to meet me or you know I’m gonna add value to her I’m gonna make her a day better I’m gonna leave her better off for having met me or you know I I’m amazing I’m good enough you know everybody wants to meet me you know so having a different focus your thoughts and your focus is much much different when you’re in state of confidence and the last piece what kind of words what kind of language so if you’re a confident what would you say to yourself what kind of words or phrases would you use you know it might be I can do this or this will work out or I can make this happen you know what is the words and the phrases that will empower you as opposed to the ones that limit you so those three factors your of your state your emotions of this pattern of how you use your body your focus and your language also known as the triad which Tony Robbins said talks about as well as in neural linguistic programming is called your emotional triad you know what would that be for you if you’re a confident and what I suggest for you to overcome this fear is to recognize that you’re in control of your state and you can put yourself in the state in any moment that you want any moment that you decide you know I I’m really big into having morning rituals and every day I put myself into a certain state because I like to condition it so that it becomes part of me when I was shy and introverted and quiet and fearful my default state my default way of being was that you know I just walk around everyday there’d be a certain physiology I’d have the same thoughts the same focus and use the same words and so I just kept you know repeating the pattern I feeling the exact same thing and it wasn’t till I broke myself out of that and I decided you know what I need to proactively get myself in the states that I want to experience every day of confidence and certainty and being comfortable and relaxed I need to proactively do that so that I can change that baseline state that I experience in a daily basis and so every day I would just get myself in state I put on some music I get myself fired up I would you know work on my physiology my eye contact my voice my body language my focus my thoughts affirmations incantations everything that I could to condition that state and sure enough I became someone that’s confident that confidence that certainty that it just became my baseline state and the fear and the anxiety diminished it went away I can still feel it and experience it but anytime it comes up I know how to trigger and get myself back into the peaks data I want to be in and I just take action any way I do it the more that you think about in your head the worse that it gets and so you really need to be you know just can’t hesitate at all and just go for it do it but change your state first and recognize that you know if you catch yourself in a certain environment just pay attention to your breathing pay attention the way you’re using your body pay attention to words the thoughts the focus that you’re saying yourself and if you can do that you’ll be able to have full control over your emotions now this fee and you’ll be able to use it to your advantage in order to get what you really want to do whatever you want to do or experience whatever you want to experience in your life so hopefully this video has been helpful for you I want to thank you so much for watching please leave a comment below like this video and subscribe for more videos like this thank you so much I’ll talk to you soon you..