How To Be Confident -Overcome Social Anxiety To Extreme Confidence

How To Be Confident -Overcome Social Anxiety To Extreme Confidence

How To Be Confident -Overcome Social Anxiety To Extreme Confidence

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Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

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Today were going to discuss building and creating extraordinary confidence in your lifehow to go from sub-average to super confident.

I spent many years of my life as a shy, anxious person who did not like himself very much. I had no girlfriend and no career prospects, and I felt inferior to the people around me the majority of the time. Let me tell you: when you live life like that, your comfort zone gets to be incredibly small. Even the simplest actionstalking to women, starting conversations with strangersexist outside of the tiny ring of safety you construct around yourself.

I stayed stuck in that reality for many years, and I can tell you from personal experience that to break free of it, you must begin to take bold action. You must begin to do those things that lie outside of your comfort zone.

Start by choosing the thing your inner critic says you cant do and go do it. You think you cant start up a conversation with a stranger? Try it. You think you cant say Hi to passersby as you walk down the street? Try it.

Whenever your mind says, NO, you say, Sounds like a challenge. Im going to do it!

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Text version:

welcome to the art of extraordinary confidence I’m doctor Aziz and today we’re going to talk exactly about that how to build create extraordinary confidence in your life and we share about my story which I would be to say how to go from sub average to super confidence sub average confidence below average super confidence and how we do that how I’ve done that and how the people that I’ve worked with are able to do that and so if you don’t think about my story I spent many years stuck feeling nervous shy anxious not liking myself not having girlfriends the career prospects really being in a cage of comparison and feeling inferior the vast majority of the time I would say that sub average that it’s not where you want to be and so my what I’m able to do in the world is like this big it’s really small you know think of this as your your your what you’re capable of and what your you know can I talk to that person can I do this can I ask her out no it’s all outside of this little circular band right here and I stayed there for many many years I believed all kinds of myths and you can check out the myths in another episode of the show I have but eventually something you know some grace helped me realize that I could start to break free and I started to take those actions and you know how to do that is you do something outside of this band you do something outside of your comfort zone I know it’s simple but it’s true you choose the thing that your critic or your scared part of you says you cannot do and you go do it I can’t give that presentation I can’t go talk to that person I can’t just start up a conversation with a stranger that I don’t know I can’t say hi to strangers on the street I can’t ask that person out I can’t tell a person how I really feel about them whenever your mind says that you say oh that sounds like a challenge I’m going to do that so you shift from avoiding the scary stuff in your life to approaching it from avoiding to approaching that is the secret now you also want to throw in some some self compassion and treating yourself better because that’s what makes the scary thing so scary and you can learn how to do that too but then what happens is it expands and you’re able to do more and then it expands you’re able to do more and that got me to average confidence where I could have conversations with people I could you know occasionally ask someone out you know I sort of what I thought was more normal although I question the word normal because what does normal mean what everyone else is doing or anyway but it got me to place I was like okay I’m a little more like everyone else but I didn’t want to stop there because most of my friends at the time you know a lot of them they wouldn’t just walk up to a woman they didn’t know and start a conversation with them now then some of my girlfriends and stuff but it happened more passively and organically and through a friend of a friend or in a class or whatever but I was like what about the people who can just walk up to someone to start a conversation I want to do that so guess how I got there the same way now my band is this and I wanted to get out to here so guess what she’s got to do stuff outside the band again and again and again practice repetition practice repetition what’s the thing I’m scared of okay I’ll do it so I want to do public speaking so I go to a Toastmasters then I get to the Toastmasters the very first one I was at and they’re like we had a cancellation on one of our prepared presenters today who wants to give an impromptu speech BAM me I’ll do it I raised my hand even before I know what the hell was going on because I really got if I want to give out one really want to change this in my life I got to move from avoidance to approach from avoidance to approach and then it expands and you get into the realm of super confidence now I don’t mean like that you’re some sort of bulletproof human who never feels insecure down or something like that I mean you can just do whatever you want in life so whether it’s going over and starting a conversation with someone approaching a woman you find attractive taking on more leadership positions having assertive conversation with a co worker or supervisor being able to tell someone to stop what they’re doing because they’re there they’re treating you not in the way that you want being really assertive and bold and direct starting your own business imesh been able to do all those things just by following that exact same pattern so no matter where you are if you’re if you’re like all that looks like a freedom I am like this big right now guess how you’re going to break out of that doing actions outside your comfort zone guess how you’re going to break out of that action and there’s no end to it and if you look at the most amazing people in the world like your heroes the people that are incredible artists athletes performers singers of leaders in the world guess what they’ve done the same thing there’s a thing that they want to do they’re scared they do it is the thing that they want to do they’re scared they do it and you can radically shift this and if you want some help you want some juice to help you do that you’re going to check out my program confidence Unleashed because that’s all about how to activate that inner power in yourself so you can get out there and face what you’re scared of break through all the mind obstacles and fears that your mind throws in your way that stops you and just radically blast through that fear to transform any aspect of your life dating relationships career work finances all that stuff so check out that program if you want confidence Unleashed now. com I would love to see you in that program and also love to see you in the comments below so comment what are your thoughts about this where have you noticed this in your life you know what have you seen from the results of this or challenges or setbacks you’ve had with this just share it I’d love to read those and connect with people also you can like it and subscribe below for for more of these videos as they come out and until we speak again may you have the courage to be who you are and to know that you’re awesome I’ll talk to you soon you you..

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Comment (10)

  1. I have extreme social anxiety and paranoia, i often can’t keep eye – contact when i talk, i stutter a lot, and i only have a few friends who have different interests than me. This helps.

  2. I’d like to see a practice exercise like how to approach human strangers. That would be a clear proof to do exactly the same thing outside of comfort zone

  3. I want to improve my social skills and my friendship and relationship skills. I also want to have more intimate, in-depth and engaging conversations with people instead of surface level conversations. I want meaningful friendships with people.

  4. I was quite an extrovert when I was a teen now… I’m 21 and it’s hard for me to behave normal looking into eyes while standing around strangers it makes me anxious plz can you help me out sir I hope you. Can

  5. What about the fear of being truly honest with other people, because your true opinion of them is that you don’t like them, and you fear making them hate/dislike you if you tell them the truth?

    Like, if there’s something you don’t like about a particular person: Will it then still be worth it to be completely honest with them (because the act of being honest with them will improve your confidence) – or will this act of complete honesty actually damage your confidence more than it helps your confidence, if your honesty makes them hate/dislike you?

    Here’s an example to illustrate what I mean:
    Let’s say you meet 100 people, and your real opinion of them is that you don’t like any of them, because they have some seriously bad traits or something like that. If you’re being completely honest with them, it will improve your confidence because you actually DARED being completely honest with them about your real opinion of them.

    But on the other hand, if this complete honesty made them all hate/dislike you, it gives you “evidence” of that people don’t like you. So, won’t this thereby make you feel worthless as a human being – even though you DARED to be completely honest with them?

  6. here’s several suggestions you can try
    Work out why you are shy – the first step in solving a problem is understanding why you have it.
    Be comfortable with yourself – this makes it easier when you meet others.
    Challenge youself – you will become more confident by taking action – especially by doing activities that stretch your boundaries.
    (I read these and more ideas from Sebs Shy Remedy site )

  7. The problem for me is not just the fear of social situations – its also the lack social skills, which I have no idea how to learn/improve in. For example, I find that when talking to people I quickly run out of things to say, find it very hard to find the right words when formulating my sentences, don’t understand when/how long it is appropriate to keep eye contact, and no matter what I do the conversation always feels awkward and forced. Not to mention I also feel a little insecure about the way I look and the way I’m being perceived most of the time, which only reinforces my socially-avoidant behavior. I feel like the approach presented here (expanding your comfort zone by doing all the things you believe you can’t do) is more for those who are just scared but have no underlying social deficits or insecurities… For those like me whose social fears stem mainly from lack of skill, I’m not sure how helpful this would be because it doesn’t really solve the root problem which is not knowing how to socialize properly in the first place.

  8. My life is littered with anxiety, i can relax for a bit and then it all comes back again, especially in social situations, which is so difficult, especially when you have to work in an environment full of people, all laughing and chatting all day long, lucky for me there are some people there who dont say too much just like myself, so for once in a job im not the only one. But i do find being chatty and social difficult. And people think they are stronger than me.

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