How Do You Imagine Your Life Turning Out If You Werent Shy Or Antisocial?



I am NOT going to imagine.

I will tell you how my life really did turn out.

You’re in for a roller-coaster. Let’s begin…

This was me

Wait wait wait… which one?

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

Yup that’s me.

Why am I showing you this?

This was the day of our school leavers ball. It is suppose to be the best day of school right? Saying goodbye to your teachers and having a blast with your friends? Right?

Try to guess what I’m thinking? I remember exactly. EXACTLY what I was thinking.

“I can’t wait to leave these talking fiends and return to my cave where I can play video games, watch star wars and hibernate”

God damn was I asocial.

My story begins when I moved to the UK when I was 8 years old. I was already classified as being “slow” and adjusting to British culture was a real challenge for me.

I adapted and eventually understood it! But unfortunately I had received enough bullying and isolation by then, that I shut myself out from the world…

I would just linger through school, sometimes just sitting with a group of people. Pretending I’m friends with them. Often I faked being sick so that I would miss school, that way I wouldn’t have to deal with shyness and isolation.

I would be muted, in my own world, rarely muttering a word. If I did, people would stare at me like “You have no right to speak”.

Sometimes I would receive comments such as “Go back to your country” or “Stop stealing our jobs” given the Eastern European stereotype. Sometimes I was named “The Borat of the UK”.

Yeah. Life was tough. Knowing no-one would value anything I had to say, made me extremely shy and avoidant of social opportunities. This impacted my future steps.

After finishing school, life in college (high school) was suppose to be a new beginning! New people! Clean slate! Nope.

I would go home every chance I’d get. Getting me to put my fear of people behind me was attempting to climb Mount Everest naked. During that year, doors waiting to be opened never got touched. Real friendships, new hobbies, passions and on… and on… and on… opportunities that were never attempted to be seized.

People who are quiet / shy often are said to be “smart” and “nerds” who do well in their studies! Well not me, I failed that year.

My options in the future were slim…

Can you see a trend in these photos now?

Mute, sigh, meh, don’t want to be here, what is smiling, closed, I hate life…

I am quite literally nothing. I don’t socialize. I hate school. I have no hobbies. I’m sh*t at everything. Heck, I ain’t even close with my family.

But then. A plot twist.

Q: What was it?

A: Failing my first year of college.

This conversation happened.

Dad: “This is your last chance, we’re giving you one more clean-slate. We can send you up to London to restart college”

Me: “Yeh, k, whatever”

I’ve entered London. Independently. All of the sudden…

I have to wash my clothes, feed myself, budget my funds, lock the door and on and on and on. Responsibilities!

While these sound like obvious habits, it wasn’t for me. I had to be independent to literally survive.

After mastering some habits and feeling a little sense of confidence, I started to study a bit. Now, during these times I was still getting D’s and E’s. But for this one test. Just this one test. I studied “a lil”. And I got a B.

At that very moment, I felt I’d just won an Oscar and wanted to give a speech.

The confidence that rushed my veins. My god.

This new energy.

I couldn’t help but speak to the person on my right.

Me: “Hello! what’s your name?!”

X: “Hey! Nice to meet you! I’m X, what’s your name, where are you from?”

I thought holy sh*t? Does this person really want to know about me? Wow! Socializing!

This was a huge foot-in-the-door.

For once, I was able to overcome my shyness and nerves with enough willpower for basic speech.

This really opened the flood gates for me, for being more social, seizing opportunities and searching for answers!

Without more text, here is how my life unfolded when I crawled out of my shyness and darkness.

I made it to my desired university.

I experienced trustworthy friends.

I learnt to play the guitar (with style).

I experienced a bit of love (and how to groom myself). But still single…

I became an athlete.

I found people that truly made me laugh.

I went on exchange in Canada.

I went on adventures.

Sometimes it was breath-taking.

Sometimes it took my breath away.

I received my first research opportunity

Building confidence from simple responsibilities activated my proactiveness in life and made me social to the world, not shying away from any opportunities. The problem with shyness and blocking ourselves from the world is that we end up hiding our potentials that are waiting to be ignited by a catalyst.

Here’s a current selfie having just procrastinated for an hour. Hope you enjoyed the read!

**UPDATE: Thank you so much for the positive feedback guys! It makes my day that I can give you some inspiration! That’s my goal.

Before I sell fairytales, I just need to say from the moment of opening up to the world to where I am at now it wasn’t a smooth ride as I’ve communicated it to be.

There was always frequent brick walls, road blocks and wells that I fell into. It’s never going to be easy, in fact it will get harder.

What’s critical is you maintain a sense of direction and remain resilient.

With that, I never changed as a person and remained true to myself. Like seeing Avengers: Infinity War twice by myself 😉 How awesome is Thanos?

Thank you again and have an amazing day!**

This answer originally appeared on this Quora question on Shyness.

How Do You Imagine Your Life Turning Out If You Werent Shy Or Antisocial?

How Do You Imagine Your Life Turning Out If You Werent Shy Or Antisocial?

This was the day of our school leavers ball. It is suppose to be the best day of school right? Saying goodbye to your teachers and having a blast with your friends? Right?

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if you struggle with shyness or social anxiety check out our free no BS training course with actual useful advice you can do from home none of that just get out there nonsense the link is in the description below for now let’s get to today’s question the question how do you imagine your life turning out if you weren’t shy or antisocial and survived your SMA T’s I am NOT going to imagine I will tell you how my life really did turn out you’re in for a rollercoaster let’s begin this was me wait wait wait which one yup that’s me why am i showing you this this was the day of our school leavers fall it is supposed to be the best day of school right saying goodbye to your teachers and having a blast with your friends right try to guess what I’m thinking I remember exactly exactly what I was thinking I can’t wait to leave these talking themes and return to my cave where I can play video games watch Star Wars and hibernate God analyst I asocial my story begins when I moved to the UK when I was 8 years old I was already classified as being slow and adjusting the British culture was a real challenge for me I adapted and eventually understood it but unfortunately I had enough bullying and isolation by them that I shut myself out from the world I would just linger through school sometimes just sitting with a group of people pretending and friends with them often I think being sick so that I would miss school that way I wouldn’t have to deal with China’s in isolation I would be muted in my own world rarely muttering the word if I did people would stare at me like you have no right to speak sometimes I would receive comments such as go back to your country or stop stealing our jobs given the Eastern European stereotype sometimes I was named the poor out of the UK yeah life was tough knowing no one would value anything I had to say made me extremely shy and avoidant of social opportunities this impacted my future steps after finishing school life in college high school was supposed to be a new beginning new people clean slate no I would go home every chance it get getting me to put my fear of people behind me was attempting to climb Mount Everest naked during that year doors waiting to be opened never got touched real friendships new hobbies passions and on and on and on opportunities that were never attempted to be seized the people who are quiet shy often are said to be smart and nerds who do well in their studies well not me I failed up near my options in the future were slim can you see a trend in these photos now use side may don’t want to be here what is smiling closed I hate life I am quite literally nothing I don’t socialize I hate school I have no hobbies M sh t at everything heck I ain’t even close with my family but then a plot twist q what was that a failing my first year of college this conversation happened dad this is your last chance we’re giving you one more clean slate we can send you up to London to restart college me am K whatever even entered London independently all of a sudden I have to wash my clothes beat myself budget my funds locked the door and on and on and on responsibilities while these sound like obvious habits it wasn’t for me I had to be independent to literally survive but after mastering some habits and feeling a little sense of confidence I started to study a bit now during these times I was still getting decent nuts but for this one test just this one test I studied oil I gotta be at that very moment I thought there just won an Oscar and wanted to give a speech the confidence that rushed my veins my god this new energy I couldn’t help but speak to the person on my right me hello what’s your name ex hey nice to meet you Enix what’s your name where are you from I thought holy sh t does this person really want to know about me Wow socializing but this was a huge foot in the door for once I was able to overcome my shyness and nerves with enough willpower for basic speech this really opened the floodgates for me were being more social ceasing opportunities and searching for answers without more text here is how my life unfolded when I crawled out of my shyness and darkness I made it to my desired University I experienced trustworthy friends I learned to play the guitar with style I experienced a bit of love and how to grow myself but still single I became an athlete I found people that truly made me laugh I went on exchange in Canada I went on adventures sometimes it was breathtaking sometimes it took my breath away I received my first research opportunity building confidence from simple responsibilities activated my proactiveness in life and made me social to the world not shying away from any opportunities a problem with shyness and blah our selves from the world is that we end up hiding our potentials that are waiting to be ignited by a catalyst here’s a current selfie having just procrastinated for an hour hope you enjoyed the read update thank you so much for the positive feedback guys it makes my day that I can give you some inspiration that’s my goal before I sell fairy tales I just need to say from the moment of opening up to the world to where I am at now it wasn’t a smooth ride a zebra communicated it to be if there was always frequent brick walls roadblocks and wells that I volunteered it’s never going to be easy in fact it will get harder what’s critical is you maintain a sense of direction and remain resilient with that I never changed as a person and remain true to myself like seeing Avengers infinity war twice by myself smile how awesome is bonus thank you again and have an amazing bang and survive Daniel drew see the depressed looking guy wearing a beanie that was me before becoming a freshman in high school as a freshman I was shy had low self esteem didn’t put forth the effort to do anything and was a huge Starcraft and Grand Theft Auto player when it came around homecoming season I attempted to ask his girl to the dance be alive Thanks that was a gigantic no no as those days since boys at the time still had the courage to ask girls in person rumors soon spread and I did not want to be around anybody because they were all talking about how I got injected by one of the prettiest girls in high school I soon found myself eating lunch in the bathroom for almost three years in high school it wasn’t until senior year when I had an epiphany no one really cares about mistakes as long as you learn from them furthermore the world isn’t going to bite me constantly for all the failures even gone through I began to slowly open up after high school and after dropping out of college I traveled to Brazil alone ahead of a church group I was with that’s where I realized that was more or less on a new slate and began to make lifelong friends not to mention meeting a lot of beautiful women since the trip was a part of World Youth Day in Rio de Janeiro I got pressed into doing an interview on TV on behalf of my church group during the events that interview happened to be conducted by beautiful women too a couple months after returning from Brazil I enlisted in the Marines after spending three months in boot camp two months in marine combat training along with guard duty then one month over in North Carolina for job schooling I found myself stationed in San Diego once more I found myself starting on a new slate like having that realization and wanting to make the most out of my newfound independence from my along with wanting to get out of my comfort zone I began to open up by default I became fast friends with plenty of Marines outside of the Marines I began to make friends with the church group I joined early on in my enlistment along with random people I met in meetup groups we may or may not be intoxicated when this photo was taken I went from shy introverted low self esteem skinny dweep to an ambivert boisterous if not social opportunists in a stand of five years so what do I imagine my life turning out to be like if I wasn’t shy or anti social I don’t imagine that I am living it right now do you need to get the best advice on how to live a fulfilling life feel free to send a message to me on Korra or Facebook and you will not regret it and survive parth product take some minutes to read if you like I am both shy and anti social as far as dealing with people in real life is concern I have around five hundred thousand six hundred friends on Facebook but if you ask me now I have just one friend with whom I talk casually on whatsapp other than that I have my family members I was not always like that since time immemorial though I had problems in socializing at that time too but I didn’t find it a big deal that time but then I started feeling insecure about myself because everyone out there finds it easy to make friends hang out etc and Here I am who thinks at least twice before starting a conversation with anyone yeah sometimes I do talk to people without thinking but I end up speaking to Earley that sometimes even I don’t understand what I am actually speaking d I had a family function some weeks back so it’s basically a get together and of all the relatives I was sitting at the corner hiding my case and someone calling me up pouring ching teng long time no see dang this line gives me an adrenaline rush I somehow unwillingly go the person but I am operate enough to be a turnout for that particular conversation well now sometimes I manage to talk to guys with freedom but done talking to a girl of nearly same age gives me a bath of sweats it’s the most possible reason I could cite behind this behavior is I am NOT confident about myself I was a chubby kid since childhood and was teased by everyone now too I face the same thing in different forms but I laugh at us but I only know how I feel so my general requests who everyone out there is please don’t body shame anyone for your own fun it may be funny for you to laugh but it’s a huge smash for the person’s self confidence well I like to play games and read books of course not related to curriculum P so I happen to join this court you get cetera due to Cora and Kings I met a lot of wonderful people with whom I talked freely without any fear of being judged cause I never face revealed myself on either this gave me a new soft freedom to be my original self to which I feel that my life would turn out to be that way if I were not anti social or shine thanks for reading keep smiling smile Cheers d..

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