How Do I Start Talking To Girls As Im Bit Shy?

Get a life – honestly you need a life. Back when I was stupidly scared, it was because I didn’t have a life. I believed a sucked and I don’t see anyone who would want me. So I never tried. So yeah, get a life, make friends and get hobbies and be impressed with yourself.

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

Work on your self-esteem – self respect isn’t easily built but you have to start working on it. Stop being a people pleaser, learn to make decisions for yourself, follow it and face the consequences. Realize that you are the most important person in your life and treat yourself as such.

Want women, don’t need them – I don’t talk to all the woman I see and when I talk, I don’t plan to fuck her, I just want to talk to see if I like her. So hey Bro! You are the man, you mustn’t let women choose you. You choose. Accept being single and be okay with it. Know that you will get a girl sooner or later. Don’t be needy.

Practice talking to people – trying to get a girlfriend can be a burden, so don’t because it will paralyze you. Start talking to everyone you meet instead, both men and women. The counterintuitive stuff is that the more people you talk to, the popular you become and the more women you meet.

Talk to women without expectation – it’s really hard to be in a conversation when all you are thinking about is fucking her to smithereens. She’s gonna see you as fake. Instead try to build connection with every woman you meet, make small talk, ask question, joke, flirt and listen. Then ask her out. Don’t think too much. Remember you will always meet another woman if she rejects you. Anyways you are better off than not trying.

Fake it till you make it – probably in the future I’ll invent a product that takes fear away but for now you still have to fake the confidence until it becomes real. See yourself as the most confident guy on earth and go talk to that girl.

Go out of your house – that’s the hard path isn’t it. It’s easy to read this, it’s almost impossible to practice it but please do. Just get out of your house. Take a stroll every and talk to anyone you meet for a few minutes. Do this thrice every week and in 3 months you dating life will be dazzling. The key is to try.

If you are rich, hire a coach – easily the best thing you can if you are rich enough.

P. S – I made a mini course on how to 10x your self confidence. If you are interested, check it out here.

This answer originally appeared on this Quora question on Shyness.

I”M Too Shy To Talk To Girls… Help!!

Text version:

let’s face the facts a lot of guys are too afraid to talk to women they’re too afraid to approach them on the street too afraid to approach them in bars too afraid to talk to them in class or after class guys are typically just too shy when it comes time to this topic now I have an answer for you but this answer is not going to make you feel good it is not going to make you comfortable I mean after all why should it make you comfortable when comfortability is what’s gotten you where you are in the first place good things are born when you step outside of your comfort zone and that’s what this video is supposed to do push you outside of your comfort now guys there are tons like hundreds thousands of how to videos when it comes time to dealing with women how to talk to them what to say what to do how to stand you know all of these really good videos on top of that some really good information but guys none of these videos no matter how good they are can teach you how to take the first step I can have the most insightful most useful most beneficial information when it comes time to you learning how to get over your shyness but if you can’t take the first step all that information is useless it’s meaningless it has no point so if I had to leave you with one piece of information one critical piece of information when it comes time to the subject guys the information is that repetition is everything repetition is king the more you repeatedly do something the more comfortable you become thus the more confident you become so let’s take this example let’s say you’re standing in the middle of Alaska you’re wearing these tiny speedos nothing else no shirt no shoes no pants and you’re standing in front of an icy water hole now you jump into that water hole what happens the first time it sucks your body goes into shock you lock up you freeze to death you hate your life what happens when you jump in the second time it sucks your body goes in the shock you lock up you freeze to death you hate your life what happens when you do it the third time it sucks your body goes into shock you lock up you freeze to death you hate your life okay so what happens the fourth time it sucks your body goes into shock you lock up you freeze to death you hate your life what happens the fifth time it sucks your body goes into shock do you lock up your freeze to death you hate life over and over and over the six seventh eighth ninth tenth a hundred a thousandth time it is going to suck and the same things are going to happen but what happens over the span of those a hundred to a thousand times it’s what’s most important that’s where the gold lies your mind becomes more used to it you become more comfortable with the situation you become more confident you know what to expect and that translates into self confidence it’s repetition only repetition can get you that not doing it every once in a while not jumping in they know once this week once two weeks from now it’s doing it over and over and over and that is the missing step when it comes time to a lot of your fears about approaching women or being too shy with women you’re not approaching enough you’re not approaching as frequently as you should be you’re doing it whenever it feels good to you whenever you’re in a good mood or whenever you know you feel the stars are aligned and she’s looking at you guys that is staying within your comfort zone again I can’t teach you how to take the first step you have to teach yourself and the only way to teach yourself is by repeatedly doing the action over and over and over and this applies to everything in life to get good at anything it just takes repetition now you can find various ways of how to deal with your shyness but what I’ve learned in my personal experience guys is you can have all the information in the world it’s not going to mean a damn thing until you actually start putting it to use repeatedly that’s it guys I know this answer is probably not what you wanted to hear but it is the hard truth of the matter you have to be the one to do this you have to be the one that pushes yourself outside of that limit over and over and over and guys I promise you after a long period of time of doing this it’s going to be better for you you’re going to know what to expect you’re going to know how to deal with those situations better you’re going to feel more comfortable in your own skin it’s not going to be like that first time jumping in the Arctic it’s just going to be how you are hope this video helps thanks for tuning in talk to you soon peace..

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Comment (6)

  1. I totally believe porn is the biggest reason men cant talk too women. If you’re a creep in the dark you’ll be a creep in the light.

  2. I’m too shy to talk to women, I chicken out on talking to a girl, I go home and hate myself, the cycle continues

  3. honestly ,I would prefer 30 seconds of immense courage for bravery and embarrassement over weeks of regret. think about it


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