How Do I Get A Girlfriend If Im Shy?
stop being shy, start doing research.
Women have interests, they have skills, they have jobs, and aspirations.
The key to talking to women is ensuring you know enough about those aspects to be able to form a unique opinion about them. Hell any opinion even a bad one gives you enough information to effectively debate viewpoints.
I suggest you start with fashion. You can’t go wrong with fashion as most women (and learned men) feel their best when they look their best… And it’s never ever difficult to notice the best looking people in the room or the worst looking people in the room. Their presence alone demands attention. This almost always gives you the perfect opportunity to greet a complete stranger, even if simply to get their opinion of the “What do you think of her dress?” or “I know what your thinking…. and your right that dress would look so much better on you.” then follow with your name. Remember the only thing required to talk to a woman is the ability to form your own opinion.
Your going to have to brake out of your comfort zone and be pro-active in your attempt to learn these things that interest women. As a man the worst thing you can do is assume because it is interesting to you, it will be interesting to them. This is seldom the case. In fact you should just naturally adopt the view that they probably wouldn’t find it interesting so unless they are inquiring about it specifically, then keep that piece of information to yourself. Read the book The Art of Seduction, or The 48 Laws of Power. Often times your best weapon in capturing a woman’s interest or attention and building that attraction is intrigue. Keep them talking about themselves, compliment them, flatter them, keep the conversation about them. The less she knows about you and the more you know about them the better off you will be. When she asks for your view on a paticularly sensitive subject, and you don’t know where she stands on the issue. Then don’t make the mistake of blindly giving her your honest and potentially offensive viewpoint and end up filling her with contempt. Instead answer her question with the same question. Genuine Curiousity in how she feels about something is usually enough to distract them from the role reversal. When men show an actual interest in a womans feelings it tends to go a long way.
As far as where to start gathering enough data about fashion for conversation. Here’s some bullet points.
People wear outfits, not clothes. (Shirt, Belt, Pants, Socks, Shoes. +Accessories-Together form an outfit)
The most important thing about any outfit is that everything matches. If your unsure which color goes with another or what accents what then just stick with Black and White. As long as you don’t go All Black, or All White you can usually put together a decent outfit.
Shoes/Kicks – If you only have one pair of kicks your messing up, have a white pair, have a black pair, and have a pair of your favorite personal color.
Always wear a button down over your shirt, never button more than the bottom button or two if any at all.
learn brands, even if they are beyond your budget learn to at least be able to recognize them. It also helps in conversation when you can throw names around, not just that know the value and worth of said names. (as an example a gucci tote[type of purse] for your wife is going to run around a thousand or two dollars)
There are many types of purses, learn them so you can compliment a woman on hers. They come in many styles, clutches, totes, etc.
Invest in some top shelf Cologne, (Burberry, ++Georgio Armani Aqua D+++, Coolwater, Hugo Boss) Along with some budget fragrences, Rue Black, Curve, etc.
Learn to accessorize, a moderately heavy +Silver+ Chain for around 200 dollars, stainless steel knockoff if that’s out of your budget. Watches are not for telling time, or utility purposes. Timepieces are jewelry and like jewelry expect to invest a little dough. Get you a bulova, or a gucci mens stainless, or similar. wear a heavy but not obnoxious bracelet (you can’t go wrong picking one up from the jewelry store, and they are pretty affordable)
Groom yourself daily, hygene is paramount
Remember don’t shop for clothes, you should have no clothes. You should have a wardrobe fill it with outfits.
Trust me when you look good, you feel good… and the thing about being in a good mood, it radiates it makes even the most introverted, outspoken. You feel good so you want others to feel good. There’s no easier time to talk to another person.
Remember if your shy, it’s because you don’t believe yourself to be attractive or interesting. That right there is easy to remedy. Just Look good, and you will feel good, and you will attract the attention you seek.
Here’s an example of how changing your look can have such a profound impact.
This answer originally appeared on this Quora question on Shyness.