From Social Anxiety To Social Excitement

From Social Anxiety To Social Excitement

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I remember years ago when I was walking in high school down a corridor and I was going to some class and I saw two girls on the other side standing there looking at each other and talking to each other and then starting to laugh when I was approaching I started to laugh than one and looked at me and I was like again you know like what is it was wrong now it’s my hair and my is too fat am I too short and she was laughing and laughing at me or else another person sure that she’s just making fun of me with her friend who when they were talking there and I had in high school it wasn’t easy I had literally like no friends I had like like one kind of guy that was like hanging out with sometimes but we didn’t really there was no like he didn’t really know who I was and I didn’t know what to do and I was like you know what maybe this people thing may be like being social is not mine right and we’re just kind of crazy to think about if you know me now and if you know where I am now what we’re doing now and all that stuff if you’ve been following what has happened to me but in that back in the day I was like this is not it and maybe I should just go for science maybe I should I needs justice to like excel at school would be the best of that and make money and money’s gonna make me happy you know and but then one day I had enough I’m like I can’t hold this anymore I have so much anxiety to talk to anyone even people in my frickin class that I’ve known for years I a I’m like scared to talk to them that’s too much like anxiety from approaching people from talking to people that I didn’t know that I sought out a guy a mentor locally and I started talking to him and and he gave me a couple ideas and then I actually I decided you know what no more I’m gonna make this happen I’m just gonna start talking to people even if no one likes me doesn’t matter and I went out to like a park oh but there was actually a couple of years afterwards right like that pain build up so much that after that I made that decision and I started talking to someone in the park which was the most horrifying experience are almost in my life in that moment before I started talking I was like it’s a suicide you know I felt in my chest you know that anxiety from approaching someone you because I’m like it’s not gonna work if she’s gonna reject me she won’t want to talk to me etc and then I went and he just said you know I just give her a little like a compliment and walk away or something to say something nice so I went out there my hey you know I I really like you I was gonna say like this I was like I really like like book and she’s like oh okay you know and she was like open and I saw them so now she she seems like she wants to talk to me and I better you know what to say stuff like uh like nice to meet you and I just like walked away but in that moment something changed no I said wow I had this thing that it’s gonna happen but it didn’t actually happen the way I thought it would and it she’s something much much better has with babies what I interpret or what I think will happen I don’t even be true and this slowly start changing and that’s one experience fueled me so much because I had this whole belief system but it didn’t make sense with what I just experienced you know and then I started talking to people and I started going out more and I started making friends you know in the beginning wasn’t didn’t really work really well I guess but it started to become better and better and then I started having something that I call now approach excitement right and that’s how I like live my life like if you know me now it’s like for me to like not talk to someone that I would find interesting it’s extremely hard I have to like stop myself and I gotta go and work and work out etc and the same thing is happening like last week for example for the youngest student and at the boot camp in Auckland he literally was shaking he was sweaty he’s like this is not gonna work and one day after we started the coaching he like met this American blonde girl and ten hours later he got intimate with her and he was like what the hell happened this is not this is it’s so much easier than I ever thought it would be and I’m like welcome welcome to the club welcome to having that approach excitement because you actually have the proof I have that proved them maybe something much much better would happen you know and then actually a couple years after words I met this girl again the one in the corridor you know from high school that was laughing at but about me away her and I met her at a theater and we started a conversation and it was going way too well and she’s like he was really friendly and maybe she changed her mind maybe she didn’t we she likes me now or whatever I don’t know and then a week later we got together right and that’s that was that’s like the best relationship I’ve ever had like we were together three years and we like to spend like almost every day together and we had like yeah like something to match that again it’s gonna be very hard and then couple like monsen I asked her hey what did you think when he saw me Oh like what do you like me now like what what happened why were you laughing at me back in the spin school and she’s like well you know I saw you and I was super shy because I thought I could get you I thought you were out of my league like litter that’s the worst music I felt like you were out of my league and I didn’t know what to say you know and I just looked at you and I smiled and I hoped you would like see that as an invite insert’ on you know it was like I was like I was except I was thinking the exact opposite I was thinking him down here you up here and she was thinking that she would felt she hold up she’s down here and I’m up here and I wasn’t like the popular kid or anything at all so then I didn’t see that that would make any sense but made me realize that 99% of thoughts that people have is just all about them and that if you put yourself out and you have though the real good intentions and people can feel that the things gonna happen let you like that at one point I thought would never even be close to possible and go now it’s my reality okay and I’m so glad I made that decision of just like no more I can’t this is gonna this gonna end they’d end it Here I am and now my life is like the total opposite and if I wanna I’d literally like need to stop myself because otherwise I’d just be around girls all the freaking time right and I wouldn’t do any work which is like not the worst bit like worst worst case scenario I guess it’s the worst thing in the world to think that you would have like someone that could be like your soul mate or someone that you could spend the best years of your life with right in front of your nose and the only reason why you’re not talking to them is because you have some illusion made up in your mind that has nothing to do with reality..

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Comment (6)

  1. Man, you are the best!!!! I crying right now because I have the SAME problem that you. So, thank you for this video.

    Sorry, I’m brazillian and have a poor english. haha

  2. Wow Valentino, this is literally one of the BEST YouTube videos if ve seen in a long time. It inspires me a lot. Thanks

  3. I am very happy for You. You are one of the lucky ones unlike myself. I have never been with a women or ever had. A girlfriend in my 40 something years of life. I am a very anxious guy and that added with anxiety and social anxiety and a really bad learning disability. I lost out and it has literally ruined my life. I have 0 experience with women. I have to wonder why I was burn a male or born at all for that matter. But I am happy that You found a way out. At least You can say Your a real man.

  4. Man you are an inspiration to shy guys everywhere, I’ve literally only been watching your youtube videos and it’s given me the confidence I needed to approach my first girl and you’ve been right, it worked a whole lot better than I thought thank you on behalf of all the approaching anxious community

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