Conversation Skills(Contd.)

Conversation Skills(Contd.)

Text version:

Hello again In this lecture we are going to talk about how to make request and how to respond to request This is one major problem area in some cultures like our culture I often have my students come up to my office and demand rather than request They would say I want to see my answer script Show me my answer script In an exam hall somebody runs out of uhh somebodys pen runs out of ink and he or she demands I want a pen So how do you make request We will show you how to do it do it We will have three points again One is how to make request How to answer request How to do it in the formal way And how to do it in the informal way Now remember there is a difference between cultures Some cultures are direct cultures and some cultures are indirect cultures In direct cultures we tend to be very direct without being impolite while asking people to do things People in direct cultures tend to use a imperative sentences and simple statements So they would not use thank you and please So in India for instance suppose I want someone to fetch me a cup of coffee I would say Bhaiyya coffee le aao which literally translates as get me a cup of coffee Now this if I would to ask him could you please get me a cup of coffee as one would ask in a request it would translate as Aap kya mere liye coffee la sakte hai and he would be extremely confused because he is used to getting more direct request Uhh in indirect cultures if people are direct while making request they are considered rude and aggressive So in in the west if you say get me a cup of coffee it would sound very rude if I this exact translation was used People in indirect cultures prefer to use question forms and word expressions to make a request They also use please and thank you and it is very irritating must I must tell you uhh for Indian parents when they uhh there uhh now we have number of families and have rich middle class family you would have at least one member of the family staying abroad and uhh the the members of the family who are living get into the habit of thanking everybody even family members for everything say Oh mom you cooked a very nice meal for me thank you And Indian mothers are extremely surprised and sometimes irritated Do you have to thank me for every little thing So that is the difference of cultures So in direct cultures with would say get me those figures but in indirect cultures we would say can you get me those figures Or uhh it is a range like I said Could you please get me those figures Do you think you could possibly get me those figures please I am so sorry to trouble you but I wonder if you would mind getting me those figures So you see the difference The direct is get me those figures can you get me those figures Could you please get me those figures Do you think you could possibly get me those figures I am so sorry to trouble you So there is more tentativeness more indirectness depending on the phrase you use And we are going to share some of these phrases to you uhh to you to show you how you can make commands into request If you use the imperative to make a request it sounds like a command So if you say be quiet take care listen sit down uhh get me something to drink you you should always soften the imperative form when let us go now shall we Let us take a break shall we Please listen to what I am saying So the moment you say let us do it it becomes softer The other way to make it softer or to make it sound like a request is to use a modal verb If you use a modal verb you can turn an order into a request So auxiliary verbs can be used to ask they they can be used to give instructions to give orders and to be more polite so you could say could you help me Instead of saying help me Could you make me make uhh could you make me some tea Could you post this letter for me Could you lend me 50 dollars Could you bring me that file please Could you pick up the kids from school please Can you come here please Can you do something for me Can you do this for me Can you wait a minute Can you give me a lift Can you fetch Mary from the airport Will you keep quiet please Would you wait here until I am back So remember could is more polite than can Both can and could are followed by a verb without to Now let us move on to asking someone to some do something for you Requesting asking someone to do something for you Learn these common ways for making requests and offers so that you sound polite Making request asking someone to do something for you Could you open the door for me please Would you mind opening the door for me please Can you open the door for me please Uhh this happens to me every day because due to certain reasons I am not able to move the heavy open the heavy door as I enter the studio but I find nobody is opening the door for me so I would have to suppose let us do a role play You have bags in your hands and you can not open the door You requesting someone in the shopping mall or in the classroom you have something in your arms How would you do it Let us let us see how they do it Excuse me Ya Do you mind if you could open the door for me Ya sure Thank you so much Making request asking if you can do someone something for someone Hello Divya Hello You look completely tensed Do you mind if I can get you some coffee You can relax for a while Ya please thank you so much Now there different ways of making a request We will move from the less formal to the more formal Uhh in the less formal request you can use can Can I leave early Is it a problem if I leave early We are leaving early you do not mind do you I need to leave do you mind Is it ok if I leave early So these are some of the ways in which you can make an informal request Uhh try uhh expressing granting and denying request by using the modals can/could When you make a request you ask someone for something or ask them to do something The simplest way to ask for something is to say can I have You could also add the world please to be more polite Can I have my book back please Yes of course you can Can you help me lift this chair Sure I can If you want to make your request more polite use the modal could Could I have another cup of coffee Or could I have another cup of tea Yes you can No you can not Remember do not use the word could to grant or refuse a request To grant request use the modal verb can To refuse request use can not Now let us watch a role play In formal between friends Hey Divya Hey Zeniya How are you I am fine Divya I was just wondering if I can ask you to do the proxy for me because you know I am I am like to I like to skip tomorrow early going to department I have to meet Jagdish actually Oh that is… Please do not say no You gotta do this for me Ok I will do it Sure Ya Thank you so much Between acquaintance How to request an acquaintance So here we have her requesting another student to cover up for her class Hello Divya good morning Good morning Zeniya Uhh Divya I was actually uhh I was wondering if I could ask you to uhh take my Friday class because I have some work and I will be leaving early Friday… And there is nobody around By what time That is at 3 o clock I am afraid I have got a class I think I have to check Okay if you could just let know whether uhh if you could be able to take the class because uhh there is nobody around So I though I will I would ask you to do that Ya ok Let me see Thank you How to ask a messy roommate to help you clear up the room Not again Divya Divya Hmm ya Divya could you please clean the table and everything around so that we can study in in a clean environment Ya but later Okay How to request a messy husband Not again Angad what is this You do this every day but today you want to clean this mess because my friend is coming And you know she is on her way Now let me tell you you cannot give me this reaction Because she is on her way So please clean this mess Let us look at some more formal structures How do you make requests in formal settings and in a more formal manner You could use uhh instead of can you could use could would could may uhh may I leave early Or might which is the most formal So as I said in each case there is a range From the very informal to the most informal and might is on the the other side of the range the formal side of the range Would would you mind if I left early Would you mind my leaving early Id like to ask you if I might leave early Expressing granting and denying request by using the modals may and might You can also make request with the modals may and might Request with may or might sound very polite and formal In less formal or casual situations you should use can or could So I will not read these instead of that we could have some role plays on making formal request using may and might We have a person asking her subordinate to come to her office Hello Do you mind if you could come to my room I have some work for you Let us look at a second situation Could I have a word with you uhh if you could come to my room A third situation I got some I got stuck in some work I was wondering if you could come to my room How to ask your boss for leave Good morning sir Good morning Sir actually I am going home for weekend So I I just thought I will ask you if you could allow me to take a day off and come back on Tuesday instead of Monday Because it is my parents anniversary Uhh I am really sorry but like you know there is two deadlines coming on so you can not take a leave Okay so do I have to come back then Yes sure you have to Okay I will be back uhh to the office on Monday then Okay Thank you How to ask your supervisor for permission Good morning mam Good morning Mam for tomorrows class I was wondering if you could take the rest half of the class I will take the first half if you could take the rest half I have some bank work Of course Thank you so much mam I will be happy to take your second half of the class That you so much No problem Thank you Asking your mother for another night out Hey mom Yes Zeniya What are you doing Cooking what else You look very pretty in this yellow color Zeniya what do you want from me Just another weekend night out Zeniya I was just wondering if you could allow me to just take the weekend of to my friends place You are begging me to ask you to let you out I am just making… You are begging me Ya if I could beg you to allow me to be there Just last night out And what do I tell your dad Uhh I am sure you will be able to handle the situation at home Okay this one last time Zeniya I am not gonna do it next time Thank you so much mom thank you so much This girl Might is a most formal way and might sound very little uhh old fashion But people do use it They say you might want to go to the library and check out the latest collection of books May not is used to deny a request My may I borrow your car No you may not Excuse me I wonder if I might have a look at your newspaper for a moment You do not ss do not deny request by saying you might not you say you may not no you may not Now let us move on to practicing and reading aloud the following phrases to make polite request Let us see you do it Is there any way you can I do not suppose you could Would you do me a favor And I wondered if you could Would you mind doing this for me Do you think you could possibly Would it be possible for you Id really appreciate if you could And now let us see them being used in sentences complete sentences Is there any way you can get me a vehicle to get to Kolkata I do not suppose you could take my class Would you do me a favor and get me a cup of tea I wondered if you could bring me uhh something from Big Bazaar when you go shopping Would you mind giving me a ride Do you think you could possibly take my classes because I need to go Would it be possible for you to bring me this book from overseas It is not available in India I would really appreciate if you could complete your task in time Asking for help When you ask for help also you can not ask people directly for help You have to make it sound like a request if you really want people to help you out You do not say help me unless you are in a situation emergency situation when you say Help Help But otherwise you have to ask in a polite way Can you give me a hand with this Could you help me for a second Can I ask you for a favor I wondered if you could help me with this I could do with some help please I can not manage can you help Give me a hand with this will you Lend me a hand with this will you Could you spare moment I need some help Now let us see how using or substituting one word with another makes a hell of a difference Phrase one is quite a direct question to use with friends and people you know very well Phrase two is more polite We include the words for a second to show that we do not need a lot of help and thatll be difficult It will not be difficult Phrase three is a general way of introducing a request for help Phrase four is polite and can be used with people you do not know very well with your boss Phrase five is quite direct and the focus is that you really need help It is quite strong Phrase 6 shows that you have a big problem you are desperate for help You often hear this phrase when somebody ask too much work to do Phrase seven and eight are similar and are direct request for help Lend me a hand is a little more polite and an old fashioned than give me a hand We use phrase nine to show that we respect that the other person is really quite busy and to say that they only need to help you for a short time Phrase ten is a direct question and the asker does not expect the listener to say no This is often used by people in authority Uhh making request uhh instead of you can use please You can say could you please Would you Can you Is not a very polite as polite as could you It is a kind of casual Would you mind is very special expression for example when someone ask you would you mind opening the window What he is really trying to say is do you have any objection in opening the window So the answer should be no no problem I will open the window Please notice that if we use expression would you mind the verb that you are going to use has to be infinitive Examples would you mind turning on the light Would you mind taking this book back for me And then responses to this would be no not at all Of course not Negative response would be yes I would Uhh now we have tried out some of these business situations uhh already You asking a coworker for help which we had in the role play earlier You are requesting a collegue in another deartment to help you with your work You ask a supervisor for help Now these situations I would like you to try out yourself We stop with this..

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

(Visited 1 times, 1 visits today)

You might be interested in


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *