Are Psychopaths Shy?



Shyness is thought to be related to fear and driven in turn by fear. Fear of not being accepted, self esteem issues, that sort of thing. None of these issues would affect a psychopath. We don’t experience fear, so we would not be shy.

After a decade of dealing with social anxiety and trying everything from medication, reading every book under the sun and even solo travelling around the world to try and break out of my shell I’ve finally figured out what it takes. And honestly it could have been done in a few weeks.

Everyone is, of course, different. And we all experience different levels of shyness or social anxiety. But when you come right down to everyone is dealing with the same learned behavioural problem with the same root cause and same root cure.

Learned experience has caused it. Whether you were 5 or 35 the lower levels of your brain has learned to fear social situations. And the answer is re-training this lower level of your brain in a controlled way (because just throwing yourself into the deep end reinforces the problem in the long run). In theory, I learned that a long time ago. Putting it into practice was another story. I know how easy it is to get the feeling nobody else is going through the same thing as you are but I promise you at the root it’s all the same thing. I spent years hiding away in my room watching TV and playing games because I was easier than going out and facing people as much as I really wanted to. Watching others lead lives I wish I had but never understanding how they managed to talk to people so easily.

I’m not normally one to suggest self-help books. Partly because I’m a guy and partly because I’ve read a load of them and most don’t actually have anything you can use in the real world. I did find the thing which finally turned my life around (and a way you can download the full audiobook for free): Shy to Social Free Audio Book and Community

This answer originally appeared on this Quora question on Shyness.

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