Anonymous Asks: What Is Social Anxiety And How Do I Treat It? (Plus Giveaway)

Anonymous Asks: What Is Social Anxiety And How Do I Treat It? (Plus Giveaway)

Asking Jude is a mental and emotional safe haven that provides free online therapy and guidance counselling. We provide assistance through text- and (now) video-based content for all.

Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.

Today on Asking Jude, we will be talking about anxiety.

Yes, I know my upper lip is sweaty. Yes, I know hearts beat normally.

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or the commencement of asking Jude channel I am holding a giveaway for all you lovely and socially anxious individuals if you are subscribed to our channel and leave a nice comment below you will get a chance to win a pamper package with products from the body shop an ethical sustainable body product and makeup line these products include a Satsuma body mist a Satsuma hand cream a Satsuma body butter and a thank you note from yours truly hi my name is Paige or a Jude because as you know I am in a perpetual identity crisis and today on asking Jude we’re going to be talking about anxiety not that I know anything about that God today I received a question from an anonymous user anonymous asks I think I might have social anxiety how do I know I have it if I do how do I treat it should I seek professional help social anxiety can be classified as a strong feeling of discomfort fear or worry centered around interactions with others and the apprehension of being judged negatively by those other individuals you basically live your life through other people’s perceptions of you at least in my case think of it as being the ultimate people pleaser so what did you think of the book we had to read last night pretty much whatever you don’t find offensive believe it or not social anxiety is a bit more common than you might believe about 12% of the general population will experience social anxiety to a clinically significant diagnoseable level just imagine what would happen if we took all the people diagnosed with social anxiety and threw a party hi yah that would be different social anxiety can be a bit overwhelming when viewed as a singular concept it is better to think of it as three interconnected components that create the anxiety cycle the first concept is anxiety sensations that originate in the body these include blushing sweating racing heartbeat shaking dry mouth shortness of breath or feeling faint the second concept is anxious thoughts these can vary depending on the personality type but mostly center around what people think of you and how negative that perspective may be for example oh my god she hates me or I didn’t really like to see you again you seem like a great person you know she doesn’t mean that she won’t talk to you again you’re going to die alone I are you okay these sorts of anxious thoughts can manifest into anxious behaviors while initially it can work to quell anxiety in the moment practicing these behaviors to worsen anxiety over time said behaviors include avoiding or leaving social situations hey Paige how are you yeah you come over here conversation friendship judgment nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope apologizing excessively I’m sorry I’m sorry watching for signs that people are judging you she’s typing so aggressively could this be a sign that she is taking out her pent up aggression towards me on this innocent piece of machinery why is she scratching her nose is this a sign that I smell bad is she signaling that I have poor hygiene that’s it she hates me preparing excessively such as memorizing what to say or extreme grooming okay I have planned this conversation to a tee for the past three weeks I have brainstorm every greeting every question they could possibly ask during our conversation and I believe I am most prepared for whatever comes my way hi there Paige hi there not hi or hello I’m not prepared for this what do I say what do I do haha I’m gonna go okay okay while social anxiety can be triggered from an assortment of situations they mostly arise from interpersonal and performance situations this includes going to a restaurant alone going on a first date or making a speech social anxiety is often considered a bad thing because of the negative emotions appended to it however healthy amounts of social anxiety are perfectly natural for human processes social anxiety stems from the fight or flight response allowing us to avoid dangerous or even unhealthy situations without anxiety we’d probably not be alive right now anxiety is what stems us to move away from oncoming traffic or run away from that rabid poodle social anxiety allows us to be sensitive towards other people’s needs allowing us to create healthy lasting relationships with one another I mean imagine what would happen if we were completely desensitized to each other’s emotions Hey how are you terrible my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer my house is going into foreclosure I can’t afford to pay child support and my cat died yesterday oh that’s cool I did a lot yesterday too so normal amounts of social anxiety are good that poses a question when does social anxiety become a problem social anxiety becomes a problem when it interferes with our everyday functioning and overall quality of life if you are continuously obsessing over other people’s perceptions of you avoiding social situations becoming highly distressed when in those social situations and missing out on things you would normally need or want to do there is a chance you might have social anxiety social anxiety or social phobia can be categorized into two subtypes generalized and non generalized generalized social phobia is a fear of most social situations and those included persons non generalized social phobia is a fear of a particular social situation such as public speaking social anxiety originates from a myriad of factors including genes our brains and life experiences for instance if I was a child you were constantly made to feel different especially by bullies there is a higher chance that you might develop social anxiety despite my preceding jokes social anxiety can become a serious illness and may need professional treatment if you believe you have social anxiety and want a proper diagnosis those things out of professional there is nothing cowardly or weak about seeing a therapist I mean after all we wouldn’t say that about physical illness my god are you okay yeah yeah I’m fine I just have a little bit of pneumonia what you should see a doctor now I’m not a coward so if you think you have social anxiety reach out to others and get the help you need and deserve however besides therapy there are small things you can do to manage your social anxiety better one retrain your brain if you are constantly surrounding yourself with negative thoughts you are going to start believing those thoughts though it may seem insignificant the way you perceive things drastically alters how you behave and interact with others thinking such thoughts as he must think I’m a loser or they all hate me work as a pollution to your mindset you do not live in a reality but rather a fantasy of fear instead become more cognizant of your thought processes when you catch yourself thinking negatively reverse the gears of that thought and think positively think things like we might form a friendship or I’m going to do really well on this presentation I assure you that you will not only be healthier but happier too to accept that anxiety will always be part of your life I’ve stated previously anxiety is what keeps us alive on this weird floating sphere we are bound to feel anxious from time to time however rather than seeing it as getting anxious see it as getting excited relabeling this emotion will make you feel more capable and handling it anxiety is quite often an uncomfortable feeling however it is a part of life and a crucial one at that accepting and appreciating anxiety will allow the entire concept to seem less overwhelming and less alien as said by mr. George Orwell happiness exists only in acceptance 3 practice deep breathing one of the worst things about anxiety is the panic States we often fall into our minds race our hearts beat and we feel completely helpless however breathing in a more introspective way can work to counter oncoming panic attacks when you feel bodily sensations triggered by anxiety such as shortness of breath sweating or raising heartbeat try inhaling and exhaling for five seconds focus on maintaining as steady of a breath as possible while inhaling an exhale oh yeah don’t do that practice deep breathing for a while and I assure you that you will feel more relaxed and at ease with whatever situation you’re in or shift your focus with anxiety it is easy to become narrow minded only focusing on flaws that we have or mistakes that we might make rather than focus on what we might do wrong focus on bettering the task itself if you have a presentation focus on making that presentation more smooth and coherent if you have a business meeting focus on making yourself more sociable and friendly towards your co workers in other words rather than focus on what you could do wrong focus on what you could possibly do right by embrace life’s uncertainties when life doesn’t go as planned it can cause frustration anxiety and so many other negative emotions however by embracing life’s trials and tribulations we give ourselves the ultimate freedom this may be a bit of a stoic approach but we can’t control life really we can’t I mean unless our God or something in that case email me we could work something out anyway most of us muggles can’t control life we can however control how we react to that life and that includes all of life’s twists and turns and ups and downs six love yourself for the most part the reason I have anxiety is because I did not love myself I still don’t completely love myself as a kid I grew up with other kids that made me feel like I was different and made me feel like being different was wrong however I now realize that those differences are what make my identity it’s what makes me dude or teenager whomever it’s still very hard I struggle with social anxiety every day however the more I challenge it the less control it has over while it may seem impossible now with enough time and practice the social anxiety will not have control over you you will have control over it well that’s it for all the tidbits on social anxiety if you have any advice to give to this nervous community feel free to leave a comment below just be sure that you treat others the way you would like to be treated in the comment section as well if you would like to submit a question to asking you’d or you would like to donate to asking Jude there are links below in the description that you can click and if you think I’m at all a good r or humanoid creature feel free to subscribe that would be totally rad anyway stay safe stay alive and stay strong by an anonymous asks I think I might have social anxiety how do I know if I have it if I do I can’t even breathe of being judged negatively by cedam you know she doesn’t mean that she won’t talk to you again you’re going to die alone oh you can see the sweat on my upper lip I don’t know it’s a funny days that’s looking at me sorry no I’m okay buddy I’m okay he was worried about me..

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Comment (15)

  1. I haven’t really.followed you for a while but you’ve helped me so much and your positively amazing. I hope you continue these and helping other people

  2. this video was so helpful <3 thanks for all the effort you put into helping people ...i especially liked how you worked humor into the video but still were able to keep if informational

  3. I’ve been helped several times by the Asking Jude team, and i thank them so much!
    You’re great persons, and i hope only good things come to you, good vibes!~

  4. tbh when i meet other people with social anxiety we immediately become best friends….HEY JUDE YOU’RE MY FRIEND NOW NO TAKE BACKS I LOVE YOU

  5. Isn’t it great when you’re watching a video about social anxiety and trying to leave a simple comment causes anxiety?! I just wanted to say this is a really good video and your voice is very calming.

  6. I just had to pause the video real quick to say this: I absolutely love how you use humor and still keep the seriousness of the situation. I, myself, have anxiety and it’s nice to see I’m not alone. It’s also nice to know someone, as sweet as you are, is putting out this content, for hopefully people who claim anxiety is fake and easy to get over to see and realize the realness of what it is. There’s a difference in normal fear and straight up anxiety. Sorry for the long comment. I can’t wait to finish the video and see more from you!!

  7. I’m actually really grateful that you messaged me about this. I was diagnosed with anxiety, but my psychiatrist never really explained what some of the signs were, she literally said: “Okay, from what I’m hearing you have severe depression and anxiety” and left it at that. At the time I would freeze in fear at the thought of talking to people in general, let alone about my feelings. I knew a lot more than I originally did about anxiety, not nearly as much as I do now, but I still, for the life of me, can’t bring myself to successfully talk to someone about what I’m feeling, how to cope with this anxiety, or getting help. This one video gave me a LOT of information and a little bit of hope. Thank you.

  8. Hello. I was diagnosed with social anxiety about a year ago and this is an incredibly helpful and insightful video. I love the way you talk about these issues in a positive light with a dash of humour and offer real advice. Thank you for doing what you do!

  9. this is a very insightful video! until watching i didnt fully realize one of the things i do is because of anxiety, and i think the little edits you put in there were humourous and done really well.

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