0-100 | Chit Chat Grwm: Bullied In High School, Having Social Anxiety + More
0-100 | Chit Chat Grwm: Bullied In High School, Having Social Anxiety + More
S O C I A L M E D I A
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what’s that baby girls and boys bienvenido Emma cannot leave my name is felipe charming as you can see from the title i’m going from 0 to 100 oh my god Pete but for years um when I’m editing my videos one of my biggest pet peeves is when my lips are like ashy pale so with that being said is gonna be first thing I’ll take her up with some Carmack’s nothing fancy I just watched my face I’m gonna be moisturizing D parameter of my face using Cetaphil probably should do this over round butt and the center of my face Wagner to Jeana combination skin oil free moisturizer everything about this for at least a year now by the way don’t mind my hair this is what it looks like when I put conditioner in my hair leave it in after my shower and forget to wash it out I went to Ulta and Sephora didn’t do a whole lot I went for my Maybelline from Walmart actually because also I didn’t have my shades they ran out they had my shade available at some point it just wasn’t available at the point I needed it to be available oh I also picked up the pore fessional pore primer from a benefit this is my first time trying this out I’m just gonna take this in my t zone I don’t really feel like I need to prime anywhere else like I know I said I’m gonna be doing 0 to 100 and catfishing and that’s the look that I’m going for in this video but I actually wanted to talk about a couple different things and of question with my brush over there it’s fine I’m just gonna use a beauty sponge now I’m actually combining both of my application processes when I do this and I put 3 pumps of this I forget this is not pinky foundation I don’t need that much and oh yeah I’m using this foundation because I want more juicy luminous look than usual but anyway yeah I wanted to talk about a couple different things while I do my makeup Oh I’ve missed you perfect match I’m probably gonna talk a little bit while I do some better Marshall just gonna blend up my foundation because you guys have literally watched every single video I posted this year I have shown you guys me putting on my foundation yeah you know what different products require different application I don’t like this with a sponge at all yeah I went to my little home Beauty Blender fades and I think I think it’s over yeah this is my head of choice and apparently here house will be a mess oh we got to record the same car vlog with me like kind of chatting and venting about things that I kind of have been like wanting to talk about on my channel for quite some time I mentioned in the Clark vlog my reasoning for not talking about certain things anymore on my channel have been a multitude of reasons for one I work in a public settings I basically just didn’t want my different topics to be my topic of discussion in a professional setting I had my reasoning for not wanting to talk about things that was one of them having to respond to people in public and make that my topic of discussion in the workplace or wherever I don’t know it all depends cuz you know a lot of people are just being nosey people really don’t care but that’s besides the point you know I understand if this is content that I put out so this is nothing private but that is what’s taught me but I want to talk about things that I’m either a comfortable talking about depending on my mood in the setting and also I felt like I wasn’t in a position bare I was happy with my life and I was practicing what I was preaching Who am I to be out here trying to provide someone’s example or tell someone how to live their life Who am I to be on here basically frightened like this positive figure and you know being miserable in real life and being sad you know just not even wanting to see the Sun anymore like it yes so that’s what made me dive into like the world of Instagram and really just oh this is a fancy concealer by the way 3d five yeah I just felt like Who am I to tell anyone else to live their life or give anyone else advice on their life their situation and what they’re going through how am I supposed to be up here preaching love yourself or you know go people say I’m like I wasn’t loving myself and I wasn’t comfortable I mean still have a certain degree of discomfort which I’m about to get into now those are my reasonings for not wanting to talk about things but now I’m in a place where I’m getting a lot more comfortable with myself again and I’m getting back to like a positive place just trying to maintain my mental health and trying to take care of myself eat better work out like you know I’ve worked out every day this week praise Jesus like and it’s like I love it I do it’s very therapeutic okay not every day this week maybe the last three days but that’s still really good I work out every day like this the first thing I do when I wake up that is so foreign to me yeah was a point in time where I was it and feel comfortable even going to like you know Sephora and I just I went through a lot last year and went through literally the Uglies period of my life I felt like I was in a place where I was at rock bottom and I learned who my real friends were due to the simple fact that people just showed me you know who they were well that was where it was people showed me who they were and I was like you know anyway all that all that aside that’s why I didn’t want to talk about stuff now I’m in a better place not perfect but a much much whoa it’s ready please so I say all that to say the things that I’ve been wanting to talk about are basically like my bullying experiences I know I dabbled in that conversation before and you know experiencing bullying or homophobia but I never really go into detail with those experiences and I want to start bullying was like the the best and the worst thing in my life as a child growing up and the reason why I say that is because when you’re growing up and people are calling you like a sissy or oh you want to be a girl or oh Europe would have remind you this went on literally from I would say pre k but I don’t go to pre k kindergarten up until my senior year of high school literally to some degree the same thing happened in college that’s a whole nother conversation we may need to have that in like another gear so as of right now we’re focusing on my grade school experience anything so the reason why I say it’s the biggest blessing occurs when people are calling you these so saying this about you people always have had something to say negative about me me being someone who was hypersensitive all the bullying stuff I experienced in school it made me uncomfortable in most public settings generally like people may be curious as to why I’m so quiet or why I’m so off to the side it’s because I grew up with people like pretty much tearing me apart my race my ethnicity my orientation what I look like my size my big hair my big lips like people have always had something to say always Oh for the first time shockingly I know I am using the NYX micro brow pencil for the first time back to what I was saying sorry guys I was uncomfortable in most public settings for the longest time and what made me say that it’s the biggest lesson Jesus Christ Philippe get to the tomatoes and whatever Oh give me the broad been walking for years literally with the brow pencil okay I’m gonna shut up but I’d say that because the color literally looks like my brow color it’s not making it any darker than it already is it’s just literally whatever sorry you guys good brows you don’t want a brow routine video let me know anyway I mean people make you uncomfortable you don’t want to be in public settings because people are calling you all these different things I spent a lot of time at home my best friends were literally and have always been and still kind of are my phone my laptop my camera the internet literally so the reason why I’m I live in southern Florida I’m from southern Florida and I’m so different from everyone else is because I spent so much time establish these different skills is because of that level of discomfort that I had had I not had this level of discomfort in the real world I wouldn’t be so comfortable and so used to talking to my camera and so being so organic and being myself it’s like the camera’s not even there anymore like when I first started doing it was so foreign to me that’s how I had so much time to learn how to edit and learn how to do makeup and y’all doing your brows and talking at the same time it’s really so I’m gonna finish my brow I have all this free time to acquire all these skills I learn how to edit so well from literally pictures on the myspace days to editing editing videos of whether it’s a music video or interview or whatever putting those clips together so the song that doesn’t have an actual music video and making the music video that I want Adam you know I was one of those people okay I had so much time in the house because I had so much time to be uncomfortable in the outside world how’d I not I would have never you know had the time to learn how to edit my how to do my makeup um you know study lighting and learn how to be comfortable talking to the camera you know initially I started singing on the topic for another video so that’s why I always say that me being bullied or people treating me a certain way is a blessing and a curse so now how many years later now it’s like I’m literally being praised by the same people who had so much to say he like so much negative to stay in high school all in all at the time I would never in a million years see how people tarnishing my spirit on a daily basis and I could never see how that could benefit me now I see how it benefit in the long run to us or an extent to get me out of trouble this is the best my browser looked in a little minute oh oh you guys have to let me know if you like when I start my videos bare face and you get to see the entire process or if you prefer when I already start like my brows and my foundation or if I just throw my brows and lashes thank see I love it wearing it all week but and honestly this is $12 and I like it more formula and the color way more without a shadow of a doubt I’m not even flicked I love how Ben Z smells I like how it wears when you something Matt it’s probably the best map that she’ll ever get cuz not just not too harsh my train of thought keeps on so I’m priming my eyelids with the morphe metal primer taking this 0 to 100 right now we’re at like 15 so I feel like that’s what they mean when when you’re growing up but when you’re in charge from here when you hear things like you know God doesn’t make mistakes everything happens for a reason honestly it’s the truth and I know when you’re younger you don’t want to hear these things and even as an adult a lot of the times we don’t want to have these toys but I’m realizing that the more I let go of things you’re letting things go because there’s nothing you can do about it you know and just after like that is giving it to God because at the end of the day I’m not trying to you know shove down my throat but I’m just speaking my truth so I feel like that hasn’t been the best thing in my face just letting things go and letting God handle it because at the end of the day I am just the person let go of things and you put it in God’s hands and you like I don’t know I’m not trying to act like I’m perfect I still make mistakes and they still do a lot of things that I questioned myself about all the time and I’m just like why do you move like this why do you do this but like this is just a part of being human and at the end of the day we just have to take the meeting a day at a time and progress and make it a point to progress and don’t just sit back and say I want to progress would actually make moves in you do things to progress and move forward now sometimes that includes letting go of people who you felt like we’re everything to you sometimes you just have to let go my god and I feel like that is something that I’ve learned the most about within the last year just so you guys know I need to see PO 2 James M boutique I’m always dipping into coach James every time I get out of it just the things that I face in the community day to day when I say the community the community like the black community the gay community like but initially when I said the community I mean like literally like when I’m in public settings so people in like my community specifically you would think living in southern Florida being from southern Florida that people will be more accustomed to seeing people that kind of be being different I’ve never been one to treat people different because of what they look like where they come from what their race is what they’re into like you know I’m I’ve just never been that way if someone looks different or they have a different name than me I’m never one to just haha you’re different that’s corny and I feel like that comes from me being so different in every way granted I’m not gonna set up hearing like I don’t crack jokes about people ever it happens I’m you maybe I’ll do it especially when people come for you it’s a thing it happens so it was a certain point in time where I was super uncomfortable being in public ever and there’s still moments where like you know if I’m wearing a certain amount of makeup or whatever I don’t like to be in public at least like if I’m going out that’s one thing but if I’m going to like the grocery store or the gas station I am uncomfortable because people aren’t comfortable and I don’t want to be in a place where people’s discomfort makes me uncomfortable cuz that’s not you for me I feel like that is as counterproductive as it gets so I’m trying to I’m basically moving in a direction where people’s discomfort does not make me uncomfortable because to be honest I don’t leave what’s nothing so be honest I don’t really give which I think I feel I really don’t feel like I shouldn’t be wearing makeup you feel like you know whatever it’s fine that’s not you but that’s not a thing in my book I don’t care I swear I had like a sharper points on this and it made a lot more sense just hope this this video makes some type of sense and someone can grab grasp you know something that I am saying but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who ever made fun of me ever in life I don’t have the biggest following I don’t get the most views in the world but at the end of the day I love what I do I love doing what I do yes I want to get 100,000 subscribers on my channel and I want to do it the way I started my channel speaking on thing being uncomfortable for the sake of people who are younger than me if I can just reach one person who’s going through what I went through oh my god it will that’s not happening never ever ever plan on crying on that’s not a thing one person who’s going through anything anything of the sort that’s my mission I don’t care about doing everything solely because it’s trendy or being honored get an organic because that’s what’s cool that’s what people want to see granted I want to do things gentleman esteem at the end of the day I need to do things that I like to do and that’s all that I do on my channel my point is I just wanted to show people that it doesn’t matter how untraditional you may be or how many people in the world may disagree with what you’re thinking what you feel or your perspective people may not see things as you do as I do with that every single day of my life and at the end of the day I’m a grown ass man and I’m not still to me I if I have to be uncomfortable to help the next person I’ll help the next person I’ll do that there are certain things that I feel like I’ll never be able to talk about at least not until I’ve healed from certain things um and I can put on a brave face and pull up and do a look but this is easy way out and I’m still gonna do looks like that’s something that I enjoy I also want this to still be something parent therapeutics for me and for you guys on the other side of the camera that’s basically where I was going with all of this I really hope I didn’t babble you too much I know I babble for sure I did 20 to the shade 10% off and I put that in between coach James and boutique to kind of blend the two together it’s just a really simple monochromatic burgundy eye are you guys I always get lost in the makeup do you guys like should check it ready with me since I’m losing my train of thought and you know I want to talk about my specific experiences with bullying and things like that I think that you guys should leave me some comments talking about your stories like your bullying experiences or people you feel like you you have certain skills because if you’re just going to for being in public when I only really wear lashes for you two lately I have if I just filmed and I go sooner I’m not wiping my face off or taking me lashes off the look is the look period put them I like this cuz they’re like a natural s but they’re still pretty just shout out some Agnes says without trial that wouldn’t be me I wouldn’t so thank you to the kids to ask me every single day the question that I will pray no one will ask me today are you K little gift you are thank you for all of you classless mother really appreciate your services although you have with my confidence from a social stand it has benefited me miraculously for that I am grateful I will see that much this is the same bet heaven using all month and you guys this will be our fourth consecutive the Sunday upload Wow I’m not gonna flex this so um on professional partner though I had to read up on my Sephora collection rehearsal powder and for whatever reason I felt compelled to be lighter shade deep instead of getting I think I got deep evany laughing because when I first first first got that powder I felt like it was a way to nerd okay and last but not least why didn’t I use I bought something I use just now oh I also got this so for a green tea face mask battle yeah I had to read up on that my more if you continue in setting spray I love this stuff might want to take that on oh bitch this is the direct I used to go today yeah no wandering today huh and I’m going to use hello well this is a finished look I hope you guys were able to grasp some of what I was trying to say next time I will make it a point to make bullet points I love you guys so much I hope you guys really like this video be sure to LIKE comment subscribe turn your post on indications on all that good stuff and subscribe for new videos every single Sunday and thank you guys so much for spending the entire month of January with me this will be a bomb ass year almost forgot let’s gain sister slo moes ..
Rather than the usual shyness advice I want to make sure you learn from people who have really gone through it. Like struggled with social anxiety for decade and come out on the other side level of gone through it. If this is your first visit to Social Professor make sure you check out the shy to social page and grab the free audiobook ‘how to talk to anyone’ which is going to turn your life around.